Planning a trip back

I was really hoping to come back to Odessa when the passport is ready, pick up Raya, go to Kiev, get the visa and fly home, all in less than one week. What a wishful thinking! Apparently, it's not going to happen :( I didn't think we'll have a problem getting a birth certificate - I haven't read one adoption blog yet with the birth certificate problem! But I guess our Ukrainian heritage is doing us a disservice again: the bureaucrats are having a hard time dealing with former Ukrainians, but now "rich" Americans :) Who's rich here? Definitely not us. But in their eyes we are rich - living in our own house (they don’t understand we have 23 years more to pay the mortgage), driving 2 cars (again, no understanding about the car loans), etc. So I'm coming back to start the second part of the process: getting a birth certificate, new ID code, applying for the passport, etc.

This time I've decided to buy a one-way ticket. Since I don't know when I'll be coming back, I don't want the hassle of changing tickets. One-way ticket costs about the same as a half of round-trip ticket plus about $150-200 changing fee, so I feel it makes sense to buy one-way ticket. I used the same online travel engine www.airfarenow.com, it specializes in the tickets to Europe. When I booked our tickets for the first trip to Ukraine, I was very surprised to find out that it was cheaper to buy Aerosvit tickets on this site compare to Aerosvit.com. And not only Aerosvit! After flying by a 2-star airline, I wanted to try something different. Especially because this time I don’t have to go to Kiev first, so I can fly from JFK to Odessa with just one connection. I heard a lot of good things about Austrian Airlines, which is supposedly a 4-star airline, so I booked Austrian Airlines tickets flying from JFK on January 14th, connecting in Vienna and arriving to Odessa on January 15th. And this time I’m flying with one half-empty suitcase :) I would fly with carry-on only, but Raya has some stuff she’d like to take with her, so we’ll share my suitcase!

Just for fun I tried to price the same tickets on Austrian Airlines web page. One-way ticket was almost 4 times more expensive, and a half of round-trip ticket was about 50% more expensive! Buying one-way ticket will also give me more flexibility on the way home, because I’ll have more choices buying tickets for both of us.

Raisa is doing good, though she’s very disappointed she won’t celebrate New Year’s holiday with us. New Year’s is a main holiday in Ukraine with all attributes of Christmas: decorated tree, gifts, Grandfather Frost (Ukrainian version of Santa Claus), etc. School break starts on December 29th and continues until about January 14th. During the break there are many activities for kids that involve Grandfather Frost and his granddaughter “Snegurochka”, so Raya is looking forward to all these activities! Even though we won’t celebrate the holidays together this year, we’ll see each other very soon. Just 3 more weeks…

P.S. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Happy 5th Birthday, Victoria!

Our youngest daughter turns 5 today! It feels like only yesterday I was pregnant and everybody was wondering what we are thinking having a baby when we have a 14-year old son! And we had to explain that no, it wasn’t an accident, and yes, it was planned :) But the most hilarious comment came from one of my Ukrainian friends from Odessa: “How cool that you’ve decided to have a baby at your old age!” Who would guess that it wasn’t our last baby and 5 years later we would become the parents of three? Though Victoria is still keeping her “baby of the family” status :)

A day before:

7 days old:

5 months old

12 months old - with boyfriend Josh:

First dance recital:

Gymnastics: a perfect bridge!

Halloween with Alex:

Our soccer player:

A big 5-year old!

One week home

I didn't realize it's been a week since we came home from Ukraine. Thank you, my blogging friends Tina and MoscowMom, for reminding me to post again!

We really enjoy being home with our kids, especially during holidays. It's so nice to be able to take Victoria to her music, dance and gymnastics classes, plan her upcoming birthday party, chat with Alex when he's available, etc. While we were in Ukraine, Alex was taking Victoria to her dance classes, and according to the studio owner, all teenage assistant teachers were lining up to see him come in :) His holiday break from school starts soon, and we are looking forward to spend more time with him. Even though he lives at home, we don't see him often as he's really busy at school. His Computer Engineering program at RIT (Rochester Institute of Technology) is one of the most rigorous, and he works really hard to earn his good grades!

Today at the music class Victoria just made my day. When her teacher asked her what she wants for Christmas, she said she’s getting a big sister! Isn't it sweet? She also had a visiting day at her dance studio this week, so I took several pictures and sent them to Raisa. She was very surprised to see that the dance class in America looks different :) The girls are not required to wear the same color leotards, the same color tights, the same color ballet shoes, and get this: they are doing the stretching exercises in the circle with the smiling teacher :)

We talk to Raya daily, and she's doing great, though every single time poor kid keeps asking when I'm coming to get her… Our court decree becomes final tomorrow, even though technically it will be Monday, since 10th day falls on the weekend. A new birth certificate can be issued without us, but a new passport is a different story. One of the documents required to apply for the passport is a notarized application signed by both parents. If you read my post about Notaries in Ukraine, you know, I'm not very fond of Ukrainian notaries :) We wanted to do this application while both of us were still in Ukraine, but of course none of the notaries wanted to do it for us until the court decree became final. Our great facilitator has several ideas on how to accomplish this, so hopefully it will work out. If you've been through this kind of situation before (when one parent flies home and the other finishes the paperwork), and you have any ideas, please let me know! I’m going to buy my plane tickets depending on the passport progress. Originally I planned to fly back after the Orthodox Christmas on January 7th, but looks like many offices are still closed until the “Old New Year” on January 13th (this is another Orthodox tradition), so I’ll probably fly the week of January 14th.

P.S. My friend Jim corrected me on my post about Wegmans. Looks like the “Ukrops” grocery store in Virginia has the best customer service in the nation. I’ll have to go to “Ukrops” one day and personally see the difference :) Isn’t it neat that the first 3 letters of “Ukrops” are identical to the first 3 letters of “Ukraine”?

God Bless America!

Until we spent 3 weeks in Ukraine, we didn’t realize how blessed and fortunate we are, and how much we take for granted. Even though we love our homeland, we are truly American now and couldn’t wait to go home to our beloved America! By the way, the locals in Ukraine couldn’t detect that we are foreigners now! We even gained our Odessa’s accent back according to our friends :)

Our JetBlue plane touched down at the Rochester airport late Friday night. It was soooo good to see Alex waiting for us! He drove us home, and – surprise – he didn’t drive in the wrong lane, didn’t honk at other drivers, made a right turn from the right lane, followed a speed limit, had a seat belt on, etc. It was a nice change compare to Ukrainian drivers :) Victoria was asleep by the time we got home, but the look on her face when she saw us next morning, was priceless, as she didn’t know we were coming!

At home we were able to enjoy very simple things like taking a shower and not holding it by hand (all Ukrainian showers are handheld), having a big cup of coffee, etc. Next morning I drove my own car (yeah!!!) to Wegmans. For those of you who don’t know, Wegmans is a supermarket chain with the headquarters in Rochester. Its customer service is the best in the nation, and for us, Rochesterians, going to Wegmans is not just a grocery shopping, it’s an experience. All out-of-town visitors are getting a tour as a part of the sightseeing! Anyway, Victoria and I went to Wegmans where she gave me a tour in case I forgot something :) “Mama, do you remember where the cookie club is? Let me show you” (cookie club gives the kids a free cookie on each visit to the store). “Mama, do you remember where the kids club is? Let me show you” (the kids club is a free service allowing parents to drop kids off for an hour while they are shopping). So, as you can see, we truly enjoyed our first days home.

We already miss Raya, but luckily she stays with our friend Lena, so we can call her at any time! We already talked to her several times, and she’s doing very good! I’m hoping to fly back to get her in the beginning of January after the Orthodox Christmas.

And here are a couple of pictures we took the last couple of days in Odessa:

It's a girl!

RACHEL ALICE USACHEV

Born on 12/7/1997
Became our daughter on 12/6/2007

Yes, our dear friends, we had a successful court session yesterday, which was a miracle in itself considering all the issues we were having. We wouldn’t be able to do it without your thoughts and prayers, so we would like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

It was a double special day for Raisa since she turned 10 today – what a great way to celebrate a birthday! We decided to change her name so that it’s easier to spell and pronounce it in English. Of course, she’ll still be Raya or Raisa at home, the same way Alex and Victoria have their Russian nicknames we always call them.

But let me start from the beginning. We started our day yesterday by going to the train station to pick up another paper from SDA. The most reliable way to send a package in Ukraine is by train. It’s very easy: pick a train that goes to the destination you need, give your package to the train attendant along with the fee (the ongoing rate is 10 grivna, though once we were charged 20), and call the person who’s supposed to receive your package with the train number and the time of arrival so that he/she can pick it up. Of course, this system is unofficial, but very dependable.

After the train station we went to the airport to change my ticket. Our original return tickets were for December 7th, and we planned for Oleg to fly home on that date and for me to change my ticket and stay in Odessa to finish the paperwork. When we found out that the court session is on December 6th, we were very relieved that Oleg can go home. I planned to get the final court decree after the 10 days mandatory wait on December 17th, get a new birth certificate and passport in a couple of days, be in Kiev on December 19th, have a medical for Raisa, get a visa at the Embassy and fly home on December 21st. We knew that getting passport can take as long as 10 days if not more, but we were promised our passport will be ready by the 19th. So yesterday morning we paid the penalty fee of $150 and changed my ticket from December 7th to December 21st. Then we went to the passport office to fill out some paperwork. And found out that the source, who promised to get us a passport in a couple of days, can’t fulfill his obligations. That was not a good news. But off we went as it was a time for the court session.

Our court session was at 12:30. I didn’t expect it to start promptly, as I read on many other adoption blogs how everybody is late in Ukraine. However, we were called in at 12:45, just 15 minutes late. But the inspector of the region wasn’t there, so the judge told us to get her and come back at 2:00. We went to get the inspector, and our court session finally started at 2:30. The judge’s room was very small, totally unlike our courtrooms in the States. Both Oleg and I were asked to stand, say our names, dates of birth, citizenship and address. Then inspector of the region and Raya’s legal guardian (our friend Lena) were asked to say their opinions in the matter, and after a couple of minutes we were done! The judge never smiled, even after the session, but I guess it’s normal for Ukraine.

After the court we didn’t have time to celebrate as we needed to go to a couple of more places to find out whether or not we’ll be able to finish the paperwork by the 19th. It was very important because the US Embassy closes for the holidays after December 21st, and if we don’t have the passport by then, we won’t be able to get an American Visa for Raisa until beginning of January. So we went to the birth certificate office and another office only to find out that it is indeed impossible to finish the paperwork before the holidays. And we made the decision to fly home for both of us. By this time it’s 6:00 pm, the rush hour traffic is bumper to bumper, we need to go to the airport again to change my ticket back to the 7th, and make it to the train station by 10:30 pm to take the train to Kiev. It took us a long time to find a taxi, but we made it to the airport, changed my ticket back to the original December 7th for another $150, raced to our apartment, packed in 15 minutes, and made it to the train station in a nick of time. Luckily we bought the whole cabin (4 bunks) for Oleg ahead of time, so I didn’t have to buy another ticket for myself.

The train tickets are a whole different story. The trains are the main way of transportation between different parts of Ukraine. They are always on time, and if the arrival time is 8:48, the train will definitely arrive at 8:48. But the tickets are often sold out. It’s hard to understand because if there is a demand for more tickets, why is it so hard to create additional routes? I guess they still operate in a soviet mode. So even several days before the departure we were told that there are no tickets available. But a little envelope always works a magic, so we had our tickets with no problems :)

The train was even better than the last time. It was a newer model, very clean, and we actually enjoyed our trip!

We arrived to Kiev at 7:30 in the morning today and went to the US Embassy. There are 2 adoption documents that must be signed by both parents in person under oath, so Oleg needed to sign these papers because he won’t be coming back. There was a big line in front of the Embassy, but our American passports worked in our favor and we were allowed to go in immediately. For those of you waiting to go, make sure you give all your bags (including purse) to your facilitator before going in. You can’t take anything with you except for the passports and the paperwork. But you can leave your belongings in a special room for just 10 grivna :)

All workers we saw at the Embassy were Ukrainians, but they were speaking English. We showed our paperwork to a very nice woman, and she called the Consul to administer the oath. The Consul was of course American, and as soon as we saw his genuine American smile, our hearts melted! It was so nice to see a friendly face! We quickly signed the papers and left. We saw another American couple there, Valerie and Richard, who also had a court date yesterday in a different region, and were flying home. But Valerie is coming back after the 10 days wait as in their region it’s possible to get the passport by the 18th.

And finally we boarded the Aerosvit flight and flew back to New York. Even though we were disappointed not to get Raya home in time for the holidays, we were very happy to finally go home! I’ll come back by myself to get Raisa after the holidays, so all of us will be together very soon!

From Prosperity to Despair

Ukraine is a country of social contrasts. There are ultra-rich people who drive Bentleys and buy $1000 neckties. And there are people who are struggling every day to make the ends meet. There is almost no middle class. Our friends are the perfect example – some of them are very wealthy, and the others are not sure whether they’ll have a dinner on the table every night.

There are lots of beggars on the streets. Unfortunately, it became a lucrative business, and very often mothers with infants asking for money, are not real mothers – they are just renting the babies for work. There are disabled people, who in many cases are not disabled, but are made up to look like disabled. And there are old people. These old women singing with mezzo-soprano voices for money, or old men, veterans of Great Patriotic War, playing the accordion, just break our hearts, and we always give them money. It’s very hard for the average Ukrainians to make the ends meet. The groceries prices in Odessa are very similar to ours. The prices for clothes are astronomical, I’m not even talking about the boutiques in downtown – they are always empty, I don’t know how they stay in business. I went to the children’s store, which was not the most expensive. Do you know how much is highchair? $260. Car seat? $350. Snowsuit? How about $330? It’s no wonder there are so many orphans in Ukraine – poverty is everywhere.

Despite the amount of money changing hands everywhere, Ukraine is still very much a cash society. People are getting their paycheck in cash, paying bills in person in cash, and of course using cash in the stores on the daily basis. Everybody seems to be very proficient when calculating money :) For example, if my purchase in the grocery store comes to 14.30 grivna, and I’m about to pay with the 20-grivna bill, the cashier will always ask me to give 30 additional kopiyka coins so that she can give me 6 grivna even as a change. In some cases it’s not as easy! For example, yesterday I bought something for 15.90 grivna. I was asked to give 1.15 grivna more in addition to my 20 grivna bill so that she could give me one bill of 5 grivna and one coin of 25 kopiyka back!

Here are a couple of other observations I made:

Everybody smokes in Ukraine. And they are smoking inside in their own apartments! Every time we are invited for dinner, the hosts are smoking at the dinner table! Though the last time we had dinner with friends, we finally made everybody to go outside to smoke, so at least we were able to inhale a clean air for a change :)

The wedding rings are worn on the right hand. I think it comes from Russian Orthodox Church, though people of all religions wear it on the right hand. The wrong perception there is that only Catholics are wearing their wedding rings on the left hand. When we moved to the States I started wearing my ring on the left hand, as everybody else. Guess what? One of my dear friends finally asked me yesterday: “I apologize, but did you convert to Catholicism?” And I explained that people of all religions wear their wedding rings on the left hand in America, whether they are Jewish, Christian, Catholic or others.

The superstitions are still the same, and even more. I forgot some of the customs I recently wrote about! One of our friends showed me the picture of his 15-year old daughter. Of course I oohed and aahed and said how beautiful his daughter is. He immediately started knocking on the wood and pretending to spit over his left shoulder! I totally forgot that you are not supposed to say good things about the children, even as old as 15 :)

And finally I have a bit of good news. There is a real possibility that we’ll have a court session this week. But I’m afraid to jinx it, so I won’t say anything more :) Stay tuned!

Homesick

We are homesick. We knew it’s not going to be easy, but we didn’t realize it’s going to be that hard. It doesn’t help that we are having issue after issue and there is no end in sight. At this point we don’t even know when our court date is going to be. We miss our kids - it’s extremely hard to be without them for such a long time. We miss our house and our friends. I’m dreaming of being able to go to Wegmans, drive my own car, have my first morning cup of coffee at work, and even speak English :)

On a more positive note, we are spending a lot of time with Raya. She’s staying with us, so we are taking her to school in the morning, and picking her up in the afternoon. We are learning new things about her every day! She’s a good eater – you wouldn’t believe how much this tiny girl can eat! I think I eat about 4 times less :) I guess it’s common for the kids from orphanages – many adoptive parents shared their observations about it. Raisa loves to watch TV – especially soap operas :) She stayed in a very orthodox religious internat (orphanage) where the kids were not allowed to watch TV, so now she’s ready to watch it 24 by 7. For now I think it’s okay, but when we get home, we’ll have to limit her TV time. She also loves to color. We brought several coloring books for her as well as some kindergarten books I usually work with Victoria. We are using simple “color by number” or “connect the dot” projects as a starting point to learn English. Since we are speaking Russian all the time, her English is not improving very fast, but we are not worried about it. As soon as she immerses in English in school, she’ll pick it up very fast.

We are continuing to explore the city. There are 4 ways to get around in Odessa: trolley bus, tramway, bus or private car. Trolley buses and tramways are the least expensive – only 0.5 grivna (10 cents), but they are always so full, it’s almost impossible to get in. We tried one of each just for fun, but decided that this transportation is not for us. So- called “marshrutka” buses are supposed to be a more luxury means of transportation. They replaced regular buses about 15 years ago, you can read about the history of marshrutkas on this Wikipedia page. The ticket costs 1.25 grivna (25 cents), and there are a little bit less people than in trolley buses or tramways, but they are still very full. If we can’t get into marshrutka, we take the 4th option – a taxi. You can call a taxi by phone, or you can simply raise your hand, and one of the old “lada” cars will definitely stop and take you to your destination (of course people driving Lexus or Mercedes usually don’t stop :) It will be cheaper than taxi, and the drivers will earn some gas money We usually say the price we are willing to pay prior to boarding, so that there is no confusion later.

Here are some pictures:



Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers - we really need this court session soon! And thank you SO MUCH to all of you for your comments, messages, calls and prayers. It means A LOT to us to hear from home!

Getting used to the routine

The culture shock of last week is gone, and we are slowly adjusting to our life in Odessa. Most of the time we remember to say “izvinite” instead of “excuse me”, or not to say “okay” after each sentence. Though it still feels unreal being back in Odessa. Just this morning we were walking the City Garden (Gorsad) and the young couple was walking toward us speaking Russian. We looked at each other and said almost simultaneously: “Did you hear, they are speaking Russian!” And then it downed on us: of course they are speaking Russian, it’s the language spoken in Odessa :)

We have a bit of a good news: our paperwork was accepted at SDA. However, they won’t issue an approval letter until Friday, so we can’t have a court date until next week. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers – we are really hoping for the court session on Monday or Tuesday. We miss our kids terribly and can’t wait to go home.

Though the bureaucracy is taking its toll on us, we are having so much fun seeing old friends. Many of you know that Oleg and I met in the first grade classroom and were classmates for 10 years. And yesterday we saw our 2 classmates who also were in the same class! We are hoping to see more classmates later this week – it will be our version of High School reunion.

We also had a chance to see several sights - our favorite beach "Dolphin" on the Black Sea, and the famous market "Privoz". I'm embarrased to say that I totally forgot about the pick pocketers on Privoz. Though I had most of the money in the inside pocket, I put 8 grivna in the outside pocket, just to make it easier to get it later when paying for the bus. I was very naive :) My 8 grivna were gone immediately!

We don’t really have time to watch TV, but recently we were pleasantly surprised to see “Dancing with the stars” Ukrainian style. The show format and even the music is the same as our American version, I guess they have to follow BBC format. But there are several differences. There are 4 international judges – from Netherlands, Italy, Russia and Ukraine, whose comments are translated live by several interpreters. It’s so cool! I also like the fact that the male host speaks Ukrainian, and female host speaks Russian, it allows people who speak both languages to enjoy the show.

Here are some more pictures from the last couple of days:

Finally - some pictures

Our apartment has a dial-up connection, so I couldn’t upload the pictures before. But yesterday was the first day when we had some time, so we found a restaurant with free wireless connection and finally uploaded the pictures.

It was a great weekend – we were able to relax for the first time since we flew to Kiev last Sunday. We started Saturday morning by taking Raisa to the dance class. It was an eye-opening experience :) I thought I remember the difference between the teaching styles in former Soviet Union and America, but I did not :) When we came to the States, I was surprised how the dance and gymnastics teachers always say “good job” to the kids even in the cases when they don’t do such a good job. It is different in Ukraine – the praise has to be earned. Well, the dance class started, and the teacher started yelling! I’m not kidding! She yelled for an hour and a half! “You should be ashamed of yourself!”, “Go home if you can’t work hard!”, etc. She looked like a Nazi! I hope this woman is an exception because I have a very warm memories about my own dance teacher and Alex’s dance teacher, and I know that majority of dance teachers in Ukraine are ultimate professionals. Anyway, we told Raya, that her dance teacher in America will be very kind to her :)

After the dance class we went to see the sights. Downtown Odessa looks totally different now – it’s very beautiful and charming, and looks very European. Last year I was on business trip in Toulouse, France, and I think that Odessa is even more beautiful in my biased opinion :)

We saw lots of wedding parties next to the Opera House. I remember seeing pictures of Odessa weddings on Leslie’s blog, and I thought it would be cool to take some more pictures. I already told you that women in Ukraine love boots, but I didn’t know they love them that much to wear with the wedding dress :) Check out the pictures with the bride in blue boots!

Today we finally went down the memory lane – we went to Odessa University first, to the building of “Computer Science – Math” college (mehmat) I graduated from many years ago. Then we took “marshrutka” bus 133 to “Cheremushki” – the region where we grew up. This region didn’t change at all, it just looked different to us – the soviet style 5-stories apartment buildings looked very big when we grew up, but now they looked very small! We went to see our school #51, it was closed on Sunday, but we made some pictures. We also saw some old friends, so overall it was a perfect weekend.

Just some observations for those of you ready to go:

- Dress in layers. Most of the time it was very warm in all these places where we had to wait for the paperwork to be done, so it was very convenient to take off some layers.
- Make sure you wear very comfortable shoes, you’ll be walking a lot! I think we walked more this week than in the last 11 years :) Our leg muscles are screaming!


Here are some pictures from Kiev:


And from our first days in Odessa:


If you’d like to see bigger pictures, double-click the slide-show, and you’ll be able to see the pictures in a different, bigger window.

Fighting with the red tape

Today we continued to fight with the red tape. SDA received our paperwork this morning, but they didn’t accept it! Two documents out of 12 had incorrect wording. One of the documents states that we had a contact with Raisa. Apparently, this document was supposed to say that we met Raisa, and then had a contact. Tell me, how can you have a contact without meeting someone? The other document listed our social worker’s name, but didn’t have her address! So we had to go back to the inspector’s office, wait for the updated documents, then wait for the head of the region to sign them, etc. The updated paperwork is on its way to Kiev, we are really hoping it will be accepted on Monday so that we can have the approval paper from SDA by Wednesday.

The weather in Odessa is not bad – it’s about 50 degrees. People are dressed up all the time, I kind of forgot about it. The ladies’ uniform is a short skirt and high boots with stiletto heels. For example, our region inspector was wearing a see-through shirt, a very short skirt and white boots with several fur pieces on them

Traffic in Odessa is very bad, though it’s better than in Kiev. We are taking “marshrutka” bus everywhere, it’s 1.25 grivna (25 cents) average. We took taxis a couple of times, but it takes the same amount of time as a bus, so it doesn’t make sense to spend more money (better save it for the envelopes :)

The prices are ridiculous! I don’t know how people with the average salary of $250 a month can live with these prices. We went to the supermarket, and were shocked to see that the grocery prices are almost the same as back home. The clothes boutiques are empty most of the time – I guess majority of people can’t afford them. We saw $300 boots, $250 jacket, $120 purse, etc. So we are planning to go to a famous “7^th km market” to do some shopping soon, we were told the prices are much better there.

Tonight we ordered a take-out “large” pizza, but when it was ready, it was the size of a small single pizza we buy at Wegmans. We noticed the same when ordering coffee. When you order a coffee, ask for “Americana” coffee: it will be less than small size at home. Otherwise they serve coffee expresso style – a very-very-very small cup.

Tomorrow is our day off, and we are finally planning to see our friends. I can’t wait to introduce Raya to them. We got her a digital camera, and she’s constantly taking pictures. She’s such a doll!

Notaries in Ukraine

I knew that notaries in Ukraine are more like lawyers, but I didn’t realize they behave like royalty. Yesterday we needed to notarize our signatures on 2 letters: one for the inspector, the other for SDA. One would think – what’s the big deal to notarize 2 signatures, right? Wrong! There are 2 types of notaries – private and public. Private ones charge more money, but there are less people waiting in line. We went to the private one first. When she heard that our documents are adoption related, she said she’s not allowed to notarize any adoption documents. According to the law, private notaries can’t notarize adoption documents that go abroad. But in this case they were staying in Ukraine! Didn’t matter – she didn’t want to do it. Then we went to the public notary. It was a stern looking soviet style woman. She looked at our American passports and demanded a translation. Luckily we had an apostilled translation, which was also notarized by a Ukrainian notary in Kiev. She looked at it, looked back at us and started yelling: “What is that? Are you idiots? Why did you put apostilles on the passport copy? Go to a translation agency and bring me a real translation!” We were speechless for a second, and then she dropped another bomb on us. She said that as foreigners we are required to get special ID codes, and without these special codes she’s not allowed notarize anything! Our facilitator immediately looked up the notary law, and found a part where it explains that indeed foreigners are needed these ID codes, but only in cases when they are involved in commercial deals. So, as you can see, this woman was not only rude, but also she had no clue about the law. We moved on. We found another private notary. There were no people waiting in line! It gave us a hope – maybe he’ll want some business? We were in luck. He didn’t demand a passport translation, he didn’t say anything about not being able to notarize adoption documents, and he didn’t even ask about ID codes! Just an hour later we got our letters! It took that long for one of his secretaries to type the letters (the notaries never sign the letters typed by somebody else – they need to approve the wording), for other secretary to write something in a special book, and for us to actually sign it. When we signed in English, the way we usually sign everything – first and last name - they were very surprised because in Ukraine people sign with some kind of abbreviation, just a couple of letters. Then they also asked us to write our last name in Russian! Obviously we could do it, but what if we couldn’t? Anyway, we paid 260 grivna ($52) for the services and left with our 2 treasures. The usual price for the public notary is 3 grivna per document, and for the public is 15 grivna ($3) per document, but of course we didn’t argue and happily paid :)

We were also going to the inspector’s office back and forth several times yesterday and today. Let me tell you: for us speaking Russian is a definite disadvantage. I would rather not understand what’s going on behind the scenes. Of course I knew about the envelopes going back and forth, we were prepared for that. But I was not prepared for all this bureaucracy. I thought our being from Odessa will help us, but it doesn’t help us in any way. The region Raisa is located now (she’s staying with her guardian) doesn’t have any orphanages, so they’ve never had an adoption case involving Americans. And you know the perception about all rich Americans. Especially if our dossier lists our 5-digit income. It doesn’t help that in Russian they use dots and commas in a different way. For example, 10.5 is written 10,5 and there are other differences. The inspector read our income not in thousands, but in millions. She asked – so you have “such and such” millions? We had to explain, that we wish we had so many millions, but no, it’s just thousands. If I could tell you everything, you wouldn’t believe me. Anyway, we have our paperwork for SDA, and we just sent it by train this evening, so the first step is done. As soon as we have SDA permission, we can schedule a court date. I don’t know when it’s going to be, hopefully soon.

But despite the difficulties with the paperwork, we are very happy to be able to spend a lot of time bonding with Raya. She goes to school in the mornings, but in the afternoons we are running around together. She’s such a sweet and good girl, we are very fortunate to have her!

We were really looking forward going to back to Odessa, but with all this paperwork chase going on, we don’t even have time to call our friends! Hopefully after the court we’ll be able to relax and enjoy our time here. But so far it’s no vacation at all. Odessa is beautiful in downtown, but what we really want to see is our old apartment buildings where Oleg and I grew up, the school where we were classmates for 10 years, were both our mothers worked, and where I worked as a math teacher after graduating from university. I think we’ll definitely take a day off from doing paperwork this weekend and take a trip down the memory lane.

I have to confess: I didn’t wear my high-heeled stiletto boots yet. In Kiev all the sidewalks were icy, and I decided I don’t have enough experience to wear the high heels on ice. Here in Odessa we are running around all day long, and it’s not very convenient to do wearing stiletto heels. Though all ladies in Odessa are such a pros walking all day long in them.

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving!!! We have a lot to be thankful for this year, so we’ll definitely have a belated turkey dinner later this year! Our wonderful friends Lena and Kostya made us a whole chicken, and we celebrated Thanksgiving “chicken” style together.

First day in Odessa

We are in Odessa! I finally got the Internet access, so it will be a long entry, please bear with me!

Our flight to Kiev was, um, interesting. After spending 10 hours at JFK, we finally boarded the plane, found our seats and tried to get comfortable for the long flight. It was not an easy task since my seat wouldn't recline all the way down, and Oleg's seat wouldn’t recline at all! There were no other available seats, so we had to stick with ours. As soon as our plane started taxiing towards the runway, I felt something strange… I looked up and saw that the water was trickling down from the overhead bin to my seat! We called the flight attendant again telling her that the roof is leaking :) She looked like we need to have our heads examined! After examining my seat and verifying that the water is indeed leaking from somewhere, she called in a consult. Another flight attendant came in, and all of a sudden the leaking magically stopped. Well, it was raining in New York, so I guess the rain has stopped :) After that our flight was fairly uneventful.

Going through the passport control and customs was very straightforward. For those of you about to travel, I don’t think you really need the VIP service, even if you don’t speak Russian. First, you go through the passport control. Make sure to fill out the form you are given on the plane on both sides. I didn’t realize we need to fill out both “Arrival” and “Departure forms. Have your facilitator’s address written down somewhere, so you can specify this address on the immigration form (or even the SDA address – they didn’t care as long as you put any address there). Then go straight ahead to get the luggage. Even if you bypassed the passport line with the VIP service, you’ll still need to wait for the luggage. After that you have a choice to go through the Green corridor (if you don’t have anything to declare, i.e. you have less than $3000 per person), or through the Red corridor where you have to fill out a declaration form. The forms are available next to the luggage carousel in English.

Yesterday was a big day – our SDA appointment. Even though we knew they shouldn’t deny us to adopt Raya, we still felt nervous. But everything worked great! We were greeted by a very nice woman who introduced herself as Zarina. She showed us Raisa’s file, talked to us for a couple of minutes, and that was it! We asked whether it’s possible to come back for the paperwork that same day because we planned to leave for Odessa in the evening, and she agreed! After we were done at SDA, our great facilitator Sergey spent the day taking care of us - sightseeing, shopping, he even took us out to dinner, and then to the train station.

The train was not bad at all! Well, we had an experience riding the trains in Ukraine many years before, but let me tell you: our train was much better than we expected. We bought all 4 bunks in the cabin, so we were very comfortable. Not only we had our privacy, but also we had enough room to put our luggage in! There is very little room for luggage in the cabin, so we used our extra bunks for our bags. We were also told that we need to show our passports to the attendant, but she didn’t ask. The bathrooms were more or less clean, and get this: there was even a toilet paper! Though it took a great skill to actually use the bathroom because the train was swaying all the time. So overall the train experience was okay, even though I wouldn’t call it my favorite way of travel :)

And finally this morning we arrived to Odessa train station at 6:00. Our friends Lena and Kostya were waiting for us – it was so cool to finally see them after 11 years! After a short drive to their apartment, the moment we were waiting for such a long time finally arrived – Raisa was waiting for us! Here is her first picture with us this morning: isn't she precious?


Now it's time to go to the Regional Inspector's office to prepare a lot of paperwork that we have to send back to SDA. More later!

Hello from JFK

Hi everyone, we are at JFK waiting for our flight to Kiev. While Oleg is checking out all the numerous duty free shops here, I've decided to update the blog. We flew to JFK by JetBlue, and the flight was fabulous – plenty of legroom, individual TVs with dozens of channels, we were very happy customers. We’ve never used JetBlue before, but we’ll definitely fly them again.

After collecting our luggage, we took a cart to put it on, and let me tell you, it was the best $3 we've ever spent :) We took a train to a terminal #4 where Aerosvit is located and found out that our flight is delayed for 4 hours. This is very normal for me :) Every time I fly, at least one of the flights needs to be cancelled or delayed, so I wasn’t even surprised. Then we started looking for the Aerosvit check-in counter, and it was very easy to find: most of the people in line spoke Russian! It was so cool! But the coolest thing was that we've got the meal vouchers from Aerosvit! It's the first time in my experience when the airline gave out the vouchers because of the delay! So now we are about to spend them :) With the delay we are expected to arrive to Kiev at about 4pm their time on Monday. It still gives us enough time to rest before our appointment on Tuesday.

We were very surprised to find out that free Internet connection is not available at JFK. At least we couldn't find it. The only wireless network we could connect to, required a payment, and of course we paid because I'm addicted to the Internet :)

Thank you so much to all of you for the words of support and best wishes! It means a lot to us!

Leaving on Sunday...

The day has come: we are leaving tomorrow! Suitcases are packed, major items on the "to-do" list are checked off, detailed instructions for Alex, Victoria and my Mom are written down, and I'm ready to wear my high-heeled boots - it will be interesting to see whether I can still blend in... This is it!

Yesterday was a very special last day at work for both Oleg and myself. We received so many good wishes and kind words of support and encouragement that we feel much better knowing how many people keep us in their thoughts and prayers. Of course, Oleg thinks his co-workers are the best. But I’ll tell you a little secret – my co-workers take the first place :) We love you, guys!

Our next post will be from Kiev!

A Mommy Bear (3 days to go)

I've got this great idea about a Mommy Bear from Shelley, another fellow adoptive parent. Victoria and I went to the Build-a-Bear store and created a Mommy Bear for her to hold on to while I'm in Ukraine! This Mommy Bear can even speak with Mommy's pre-recorded voice :) It was a big hit, so I hope it will make it easier for Victoria to be without me.

Luckily our son doesn't need a Mommy Bear anymore :) Though Oleg and I managed to spend some quality time with him this week, which is not an easy task - he's either at school or at work, or out :)

We are more or less ready to go, just 3 more days... It's a very emotional time for us. Not only we are about to become Raisa's parents, but also we are going back to our homeland for the first time in 11 years. We left Odessa on the cold November day in 1996 with just the clothes on our backs and knowing how to say "Hi", Bye" and "How are you" in English. We found our American dream, and we'll do everything possible to help our new daughter to find hers.

Countdown - 10 days

10 days to go. Are we ready? Not really :) I sort of gave up on the lists - I won't be able to finish them all. Instead, I'm concentrating on spending time with Victoria and taking it one day at a time. This weekend we went to the mall, and had a little photosession:

I was also thinking about our process in Ukraine. Here it is in a nutshell:

On Sunday, November 18th, we fly to NY by JetBlue, and then to Kiev by Aerosvit (Ukrainian Airlines). We arrive to Kiev on Monday, November 19th and have our appointment at SDA (State Department of Adoption) on Tuesday, November 20th. Then we take a train to Odessa that same evening.

Once we get to Odessa, we meet with the inspector of the region (something like a town in the States), and write an application to adopt Raisa. If inspector is an agreement that we can proceed with adoption, he/she writes an opinion on whether the adoption meets the best interests of the child. This opinion letter along with many other documents is sent back to Kiev for SDA approval. SDA takes 5 business days to review these documents and then hopefully gives us the consent to adopt. The consent is sent back to Odessa and we can schedule a court date (hopefully within the next week or so).

If the court is successfull, we have to wait mandatory 10 calendar days (sometimes more if the 10th day falls on the weekend) to get the court decree. During these 10 days, anyone can appeal the court decision (hopefully not!)

Once we have a court decree, we can apply for a new birth certificate where we listed as the parents, and with the new birth certificate we can apply for the passport. Getting passport can take up to 10 days or more, but very often it takes 2-3 days, depending on the region and on the expediting fees.

With the passport in hand we go back to Kiev for the medical exam and to apply for a visa. This process takes about 3 business days, and after that we can go home! So it's hard to predict when we'll come home, but I really hope it will be before the holidays.

I also wanted to say a huge thank you to my friend and co-worker for your generous gift toward our adoption expenses - I don't have words to describe my appreciation for your kindness. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

16 days

I'm overwhelmed. Why the "to-do" lists are getting bigger and bigger despite the checking off items daily??? I'm so glad to be able to check with my online friends to make sure I haven't missed anything! Thank you, Tami, for reminding me about the snowplow service (actually you were talking about winterizing, and it triggered my snowplow item :)

So where am I with the lists?

- Call the bank to order the new money. Check.
- Call the credit card company to make sure the card will work in Ukraine. Check.
- Buy money belts and international adapters. Check.
- Sign the Power of Attorney document/Medial Release form. Check.
- Talk to the school district about Raisa's placement. Check.
- Buy furniture for Raisa's bedroom. Check.
- Let Victoria's teachers know we'll be out of country. Check.
- Print out the embassy forms and other paperwork to take with us. Check.
- Write a list of emergency phone numbers and all Victoria's activities for my Mom. Check.

What else is on the list? The big items still need to be checked off are:

- Order snowplowing service
- Schedule Internet Bill Payments until the end of December
- Choose and print out pictures for the photoalbum

Plus I have a thousand smaller items to check off :)

So as you can see, I'm stressed out. But I put off all lists to take Victoria trick-or-treating. I'm biased of course, but I think she was the most adorable ice princess ever :)

The Order of Toasts and 19 days to go

After I wrote about the customs and superstitions last week, my friend Kelly asked me to write about the order of toasts for gatherings. The following is Odessa's version, so it can be totally different in other parts of Ukraine :)

- Rule #1 - don't drink without toasting! You can be considered an alcoholic!

- The first toast is always for the occasion. If it's a birthday party - drink for the person whose birthday is celebrated.

- The second toast at a birthday party is for the parents of the person whose birthday is celebrated (if they are still alive)

- The third toast varies. Most of the time it's for the women present at the party. You can say in Russian "Za prisutstvuyuschih zdes dam"

- Then it's a good idea to toast relatives - you can separately drink for siblings of the person giving the party, his kids, grandparents, etc. - depends on the situation

- After all relatives are taken care of, people usually toast for friendship

- At some point of time, usually at the end of the party, the hosts will toast all guests. Sometimes it means the party is over, but not necessarily.

- If you are asked to give a toast, make sure you toast the health of the hosts.

If you don't want to drink, sometimes the hosts can be offended. There are a couple of good excuses not to drink: being a designated driver, or you can say that you are taking medications that can't be mixed with alcohol.


On the adoption front we have 19 days to go and I'm totally terrified. Hopefully I'll be able to survive these remaining days :)

Russian Customs and Superstitions

My friend Melissa asked me about Ukrainian customs, and I decided to brush up my memory on some of the customs and superstitions (couldn't remember them all though). After living in the States for 11 years, we no longer believe in many of them, though some still rule on our household :)

Customs

- Only an odd number of flowers can be given as a gift. The even numbers are usually brought to the funerals. I still enjoy getting 3-5-7 roses, but the dozen doesn't shock me anymore.

- Men usually shake hands, but women never do.

- When you are invited to someone else's house, you should bring a gift. Usually it's a dessert, a bottle of wine (or vodka :), flowers, etc.

- Don't drink without a toast! You must propose a toast! The glass can't be put back on the table between the time a toast proposed and the time you drink.

- The drinks are usually served at the time of dinner, so you need to be able to eat and drink at the same time.

- Sit quietly for several seconds before leaving on a long trip. Usually we load the luggage in the car, return to the house, and do it :)

- It's believed that to avoid colds in the winter, you have to keep your body warm at all times. Poor kids are usually dressed in so many layers, they end up sweating and catch a cold anyway. So having compared the way I dressed Alex in Ukraine and Victoria here, I can say that American way is much better :) But keep in mind that dressing your child lightly will be considered neglect in Ukraine, so make sure to follow the rule over there!

Superstitions:

- Do not whistle indoors - you won't have any money! Victoria is not allowed to whistle in our house :)

- If you step on your somebody elses's toes by accident, you have to let the other person step on your shoe, or you will have a conflict.

- If you forgot something after your left the house, you can't go back - it's a bad luck.

- Though some people say it's OK as long as you look in the mirror when you return to the house to retrieve your item.

- Don't show newborn baby to other people until the baby is 1 month old. The only exception is immediate family - parents, siblings, etc. We broke this rule and went to our friends house when Victoria was 7 days old. It was okay!

- Don't buy anything for the baby while pregnant. Baby shower is a foreign concept in
Ukraine. I totally broke this rule while pregnant with Victoria :)

- Don't celebrate a birthday early.

- Don't demonstrate somebody else's wound or surgery on yourself, it's a bad luck.

- When you see somebody on the street with a full water bucket, it's a good luck. Empty buckets - bad luck. I haven't seen anybody in America with a bucket yet, so I guess this rule doesn't count.

- If you are not married - don't sit at the corner of the table, otherwise you won't marry for another 7 years.

- Black cat is a sign of bad luck. If you see a black cat on the street, try to take another route :)

- Knock on wood and spit three times over your left shoulder for good luck. If someone praises you, or your kids, make sure to knock on the wood 3 times, and pretend to spit three times over your left shoulder. This is done so that you are not jinxed by the comment. When you see someone's baby, don't ever say "what a beautiful baby" - parents will be afraid you'll jinx it. Instead say something like "what a bad baby", then proceed to knock and spit, so the parents will see you actually were taken with the baby, but you are afraid that your positive comment will jinx it. I'm serious! Don't laugh!

- Do not shake hands or kiss over the threshold of a door.

- Don't look into the broken mirror.

- Don't ever put your keys on the table.

- If you spilled salt, you'll have a conflict with someone.

- If your nose itches, it means you'll be drinking soon :)

- If you by mistake put your clothes on inside out, it means somebody will beat you up :) People should point this out, wait for you to fix the clothes and then pretend to beat you, so that nobody else can really beat you after that :)

One month to go

It's October 18th, and we are leaving in one month on November 18th. And you know what? I'm getting really nervous. What if something goes wrong? What if we won't be able to have the court in a reasonable amount of time? What if somebody appeals the court decision? What if we won't be able to get her passport on time? What if we get mugged? I really hope it's just my imagination, and everything will be all right!

We are almost decided on what we should pack, thanks to everyone for the great advice! We'll be taking 2 medium-sized wheeled suitcases, and 1 medium-sized wheeled duffel bag as a checked luggage. For the carry-on we'll take a laptop bag, a small duffel bag and my purse (I can't live without one!). I'm not very clear on Aerosvit restrictions for the carry-on. Here is what I found on their website:

- Carry-on luggage for economy and business-class passengers that travel on flights lasting up to four hours must be 5kg or less and the maximum dimensions must be 55x40x20cm or smaller.

- Carry-on luggage for business class passengers that travel on flights lasting over four hours may be up to 10kg. However, only one such item is allowed.

It doesn't say anything about the economy class passengers traveling on flights over four hours, I hope it's a typo, and we'll be allowed to take 10kg (about 22lbs) instead of just 5 kg (about 11lbs)

I also called the school district and spoke with the registrar about registering Raya (that's Raisa's nick name) for school. She said the process is very easy, I just need to bring her birth certificate and immunization record, and that's it! She'll be assigned an ESL teacher to help her learn English. We've been through this before with Alex, and he picked up language really fast. He started school in December, had ESL through the rest of the school year, and next September he didn't need ESL anymore! It was not as fast for Oleg and me, it took us much longer to learn English :) But it's easy for the kids - the younger they are, the easier they can learn a new language. Alex was 8 when we came to the States, and Raya will be 10, so I hope she'll start speaking soon.

My little baby is 19 today!

Where did the time go?

Going home from the hospital:


6 months old:


6 years old:


Ballroom dance competition:


Playing Beethoven:


NY State soccer champions:


Prom:


Senior picture:


High School Graduation:


Dancing with Mom:

Sending parcels to Ukraine

We have a lot of friends in Ukraine, and every now and then we try to send them a little something. Several years ago I used USPS a couple of times, and the parcels were lost. Then I found a great Ukrainian-American company called "Meest", which has several services such as sending parcels, money, courier delivery, etc. They are based in Toronto, but have offices in many American cities, Europe, etc. We have a local Ukrainian store, which works with Meest, so it's very easy to send a parcel from there. We've done it many times, and we are very happy with the service. It takes about 6 weeks for the parcel to get to Ukraine, but it's delivered directly into the hands of recipients! The cost is not bad either - 99 cents per pound plus $15 per parcel. Recently I logged on to their website www.meest.net, and found out that they now deliver food packages! You just pick a package from the catalog, pay for it, and it's delivered! A lot of people I know (especially senior citizens) live below the poverty line, so these packages will be great gifts for them.

On the adoption front we are in the middle of buying different travel essentials such as luggage (our suitcases are way too large for Ukraine), money belts, adapters, travel pillows, high-heeled boots (that's essential for me :), etc. My adoption expenses are going up every day :)

Packing lists

To pack or not to pack: that is the question. I already mentioned that I want to make sure I can keep up with Ukrainian fashion. Well, if I could've packed my entire wardrobe, maybe I would be able to accomplish that. But I doubt my husband would be very thrilled with this idea. So I guess I won't be as glamorous as I want to be. Maybe just 2 pairs of high-heeled boots/shoes will do?

All kidding aside, the packing list is a big deal in our family :) I know I need to pack light. But how light? Here is a list of things I compiled from reading various blogs and boards:

- Travel pack of toilet paper (some public restrooms in Ukraine don't have TP)
- A small bottle of antibacterial soap (for example, Purell)
- Wipes
- Small umbrella
- Ziploc bags (a lot of people say it's a life saver)
- Grocery bags (the supermarkets in Ukraine don't give out grocery bags)
- Adapters
- Feebreze (in case we'll need to wear the same clothes twice or more. It's acceptable in Ukraine :)
- Small alarm clock (not to oversleep SDA appointment :)
- Small gift bags (they make great gifts with the card and some money)
- Tape measure (easier to buy clothes for kids because the sizes in Ukraine are totally different from American)
- Flashlight (in case there is no electricity)
- Pen and paper (just in case you need to write something down, and you don't have time to go buy it)
- Peanut butter (we don't eat it, so we won't be taking it with us, but many people reported that peanut butter is expensive and hard to find)
- Books! Oleg and I are addicted to books, but we should be able to find plenty of books there as we read Russian. I don't think English books are readily available.
- Movies on DVDs to pass the time. Again, it's not the case for us, we'll be happy with Russian TV, but people report that being able to watch movies in English is a life saver.

The list goes on and on and on. If you can recommend something else that's essential for the travel, please let me know!

We've got the tickets!

We finally made a decision about the tickets. Oleg will go back home after the court, and I will most likely stay in Odessa to finish the process (unless the wait for the passports is too long). With that in mind we bought a round-trip tickets from JFK to Kiev, hoping that Oleg will use them to fly back and I'll only need to change my return ticket. We are flying by Aerosvit (Ukrainian Airlines), and the penalty to change a ticket is $150. We also bought one-way tickets from Rochester to JFK by JetBlue. Their prices for one-way ticket are exactly twice cheaper than roundtrip, so it makes sense to buy the return tickets later and not pay the $45 penalty fee (not a big fee, but why pay it?) We could've bought a little bit less expensive tickets (about $50 less each) if buying all flights together. But in this case we would have to fly through Detroit, or some other hub, have 3 flights rather than 2, and we were not comfortable with that. Not only it would be more complicated to change the tickets for 3 legs, but also there is a chance that the flight out of Rochester is cancelled (it happens from time to time). Since we live relatively close to New York (6 hours drive or 1 hour flight), we can always drive to New York to get to our flight to Kiev.

Originally we called Lonnie Rowland from the Rowland Enterprises, who was recommended by many people from the FRUA board. He gave us several very good quotes, but they were in line with what I found online, so I decided to buy the tickets without his help. Lonnie also provides a VIP service in the Kiev Borispol Airport. Since we speak Russian, we don't need this service, but many people used it and were very happy. Just last week Sean and Tracey O'Hara used the VIP service and were very happy they did! Not only their baggage was delayed and they had to fill out the forms in Russian at the airport, but also their SDA appointment was at the same day! They are currently in Odessa adopting their 2 beautiful daughters. Please keep them in your prayers as they are hoping to have a court date later next week.

What's next?

So we've got our travel date. It means we can now start making plans, right? But there are so many things to decide. Do we go for 2 trips vs 1 trip? Or maybe one of us goes home and the other stays to finish the process? Do we buy roundtrip tickets and pay penalties when changing return dates, or do we buy adoption fare tickets, which are more expensive, but don't have the penalties? It's hard to decide.

Other than the tickets, there are a lot of other things we have to take care of:

- Sign the Power of Attorney document for my Mom, making her Victoria's temporary guardian.

- Talk to Victoria's teachers (at preschool, gymnastics, dance and music) and let them know we'll be out of the country.

- Buy money belts. Apparently it's not safe to use the ATM machines over there, so it's better to take cash.

- Start making packing lists. Everybody says we should pack lightly, but Ukranians usually dress very nicely, and I don't want to look bad, so it means I need to take a lot of clothes. My old friends won't understand if I won't show up on high heels in designer clothes :)

- Get all the paperwork together, for example, the embassy forms, maybe the copy of our dossier, etc.

- BUY GIFTS!!! We have a lot friends in Odessa, so it's probably impossible to buy gifts for all of them, but we'll try our best. It also doesn't help when they automatically think that all Americans are rich.

- Talk to the school district about Raisa's placement in school.

- Talk to the Human Resources about adding another child to the Medical/Dental policy.

- Buy furniture for Raisa's bedroom.

And the list goes on and on... Oh well, we still have more than 2 months before our travel date, so I guess we have enough time to take care of everything!

WE'VE... GOT... THE... DATE!!!

Yup, we did! And it's NOVEMBER 20th!!! Oh my God, now it all begins. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to continue working today...

It will be almost exactly 11 years to the date since we left Ukraine on November 26, 1996.

Day 21 - no date yet

We don't have a travel date yet, but I didn't really expect to hear anything this week. I heard from my facilitator today, he told me the invitations are issued by SDA on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Yesterday they were announcing the dates for the dossiers that were submitted up to July 14th (we were submitted on the 30th). So my online friends who were submitted on the 16th should hear something really soon!

It's hard to believe that the summer is almost over, and Labor Day weekend is in a couple of days. Alex starts his sophomore year at RIT (Rochester Institute of Technology) on Labor Day (!!!) and Victoria starts preschool 2 weeks later.

We've got some pictures from our friends' daughter's wedding we recently attended. The bride was the most beautiful I've ever seen:

And Oleg and I had a great time:

The Russian parties are a lot of fun. I tried to explain to my friends what does that mean to party like Russians (Ukrainians, or any other people from former Soviet Union), but I couldn't find the right words. But yesterday I found a very humorous essay on the subject (please don't be offended by the first sentence :)

http://www.columbia.edu/~ip71/w116/2006/06/partying-with-russians_29.html

So if you are happened to be in New York, Toronto or Los Angeles, go to the Russian restaurant, you'll have the time of your life!

Birthday Parties

This weekend Victoria attended 2 birthday parties. She painted the pottery masterpiece:

and had fun meeting the clown, doing the face painting, etc:


That got me thinking about her incoming birthday. It's not until December, but I thought I should plan something now, before we go to Ukraine. A friend of mine is opening The Little Gym franchise, and I think it's a good idea to have Victoria's birthday party there. And thinking about her birthday made me realize that if everything goes well, Raisa will celebrate her 10th birthday on the US soil! Her birthday is also in December, so (I keep my fingers crossed) if everything works the way we want, we'll have a busy end of the year!

Today marks 16 business days since our dossier was submitted to SDA. This Friday is a holiday in Ukraine (Constitution day), so our 20 business days will fall on Tuesday, August 28th. Most of the time it takes much more than 20 business days to receive an appointment date, so I'm not really hoping to get it next week. But it would be nice to finally have a date, start planning, get tickets, etc.

Additional days in Ukraine

It looks like the number of days we need to spend in Ukraine is increasing in geometric progression. Well, maybe in arithmetic, not in geometric (it's the former math teacher in me talking :) Yesterday the American Embassy in Kiev announced that the procedure to get the visa for adopted children has changed. Previously the process was to have the medical exam and the visa interview in one day (most of the time). Sometimes the visa was ready at the same day, sometimes the next business day. Now the process is the following:

"Parents must drop off all required documents at the Consulate no later than 12:00 noon on the business day prior to day of the actual visa interview. No appointment is required to submit documents. Visa interviews will take place at 2:00 pm on the day designated, and can only take place if we have already received all the required documents. We will make every effort to issue the visa on the next working day. However, it is important to note that additional checks are required by law if the adopted child is 16 years or older. These checks delay visa issuance by up to 72 hours. Please plan your travel accordingly."

So it's one business days to drop off the documents, second day for the visa interview, third day (hopefully!) to get the visa, and on the fourth business day people can finally leave the country. Basically another week. On a top of 10 days mandatory wait for the court degree plus 10 days wait for the passport plus unknown number of days while waiting for the court date, it comes to a long time. If in the past adoptive parents stayed in Ukraine approximately 4-5 weeks, now it's more like 6-7-8 weeks. We are definitely thinking about 2 trips now, it will be much easier financially (less days without a paycheck) and emotionally (less days without our kids).

Today is 11th business days since our dossier was submitted. Hopefully we'll know our appointment date in a couple of weeks!

The passport situation in Ukraine

The Ukrainian government recently decided to start issuing the new type of passports. Supposedly it was done to fight the corruption since all the new passports will be issued in Kiev and sent to the regions. Of course, THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH new passports! Some regions still have old passport blanks and people are still gettings passports. Some people are not as lucky. I know of several adoptive families who are currently waiting for 4+ weeks after receiving the court decree because the newly adopted kids cannot leave the country without a passport. A couple of days ago American Embassy released a notice where it says that in addition to the mandatory 10 day wait after the court, it's now necessary to wait 10 MORE days to get the passport. And the problem is that it could be more than 10 extra days to get a passport. So how long do we have to stay in Ukraine? Looks like instead of 4-5 weeks it could be 6-7 weeks or more.

I think in this case the best idea would be to do 2 trips to Ukraine. The first trip will be for the SDA appointment and court, then back home while waiting for the 20 mandatory days, and after that the second trip to finish the paperwork. Oh well, why is it getting harder and harder all the time?

We are on our 6th business waiting for the appointment date. I know of one family who was submitted on July 9th and received the word today about their appointment date on October 16th. They waited exactly 20 business days, as promised, so I hope we'll find out what our travel date is in another 14 business days, on August 28.

OUR DOSSIER HAS BEEN SUBMITTED!!!

It's hard to believe, but our dossier has finally been submitted! It was in our facilitator's hands since May 14, and he estimated it would be submitted sometime in July. He was actually right - it was submitted during "American hours" on Monday, July 30! Now the Department of Adoptions has 20 working days to go over our dossier and get back to us with either approval letter and a travel date, or rejection letter. Sometimes paperwork gets rejected by several reasons, but I really hope we will be approved. Lately the 20 working days are more like 30 working days, so I'm thinking we'll find out in about 6 weeks what our travel date will be. Usually it's approximately 3 months from the day of submission, so looks like it will be end of October - beginning of November.

A new picture

Here is Raisa on Deribasovskaya Street in Odessa:

Still no news

We are still waiting for the submission. I'm reading about the other families getting submitted, getting appointment dates, etc., so the process is working, we just need to wait a little bit longer. Per our facilitator, it should happen very soon. In this case we'll be traveling to Ukraine in the mid-October - mid-November.


In the meanwhile, here is a new picture of me and my firstborn:

Waiting for submission

Waiting, waiting, waiting. Our facilitator is hoping to submit our dossier in the early July - we are really hoping it will be the case! And our situation is not that bad. We know who we are going to adopt and sooner or later it will happen.

For some people it's not that easy. Since Ukraine adoption laws don't allow preselection, the families are usually presented with several profiles during their appointment in Kiev. But sometimes there are no healthy young children available on that day, so the families must make a decision - either accept a referral for the older child, or wait for another appointment. Currently, about 50 families are in Kiev waiting for 2nd or even 3rd appointments. Can you imagine how hard it is? One would ask: there are so many orphans in Ukraine, why they are not available for adoption? In order to be available for International adoption, the kids should be placed on the adoption registry: one month on the local level, one month on the regional level and one year on the national level. In theory, the children should be available in 14 months after they first were added to the local registry. But in the real life it's much more than that! For some unknown reason, it takes more than a month to transfer from one registry to another. I don't know why - it's just the Ukrainian way. So it's more like 16 - 17 months. Also, many children are lost in the system and are not registered at all! So while we are waiting for our appointment, we really hope the waiting families will find their kids and the waiting kids will find their parents soon.

Raisa on vacation

My friend Lena, who's Raya's legal guardian, took her to the Carpathian Mountains for a weeklong vacation. I'm so fortunate to have Lena - I don't know what we would do without her. Here are a couple of pictures from that place:

This is a lake next to the hotel:

This is a hotel where they are staying: