First day in Odessa

We are in Odessa! I finally got the Internet access, so it will be a long entry, please bear with me!

Our flight to Kiev was, um, interesting. After spending 10 hours at JFK, we finally boarded the plane, found our seats and tried to get comfortable for the long flight. It was not an easy task since my seat wouldn't recline all the way down, and Oleg's seat wouldn’t recline at all! There were no other available seats, so we had to stick with ours. As soon as our plane started taxiing towards the runway, I felt something strange… I looked up and saw that the water was trickling down from the overhead bin to my seat! We called the flight attendant again telling her that the roof is leaking :) She looked like we need to have our heads examined! After examining my seat and verifying that the water is indeed leaking from somewhere, she called in a consult. Another flight attendant came in, and all of a sudden the leaking magically stopped. Well, it was raining in New York, so I guess the rain has stopped :) After that our flight was fairly uneventful.

Going through the passport control and customs was very straightforward. For those of you about to travel, I don’t think you really need the VIP service, even if you don’t speak Russian. First, you go through the passport control. Make sure to fill out the form you are given on the plane on both sides. I didn’t realize we need to fill out both “Arrival” and “Departure forms. Have your facilitator’s address written down somewhere, so you can specify this address on the immigration form (or even the SDA address – they didn’t care as long as you put any address there). Then go straight ahead to get the luggage. Even if you bypassed the passport line with the VIP service, you’ll still need to wait for the luggage. After that you have a choice to go through the Green corridor (if you don’t have anything to declare, i.e. you have less than $3000 per person), or through the Red corridor where you have to fill out a declaration form. The forms are available next to the luggage carousel in English.

Yesterday was a big day – our SDA appointment. Even though we knew they shouldn’t deny us to adopt Raya, we still felt nervous. But everything worked great! We were greeted by a very nice woman who introduced herself as Zarina. She showed us Raisa’s file, talked to us for a couple of minutes, and that was it! We asked whether it’s possible to come back for the paperwork that same day because we planned to leave for Odessa in the evening, and she agreed! After we were done at SDA, our great facilitator Sergey spent the day taking care of us - sightseeing, shopping, he even took us out to dinner, and then to the train station.

The train was not bad at all! Well, we had an experience riding the trains in Ukraine many years before, but let me tell you: our train was much better than we expected. We bought all 4 bunks in the cabin, so we were very comfortable. Not only we had our privacy, but also we had enough room to put our luggage in! There is very little room for luggage in the cabin, so we used our extra bunks for our bags. We were also told that we need to show our passports to the attendant, but she didn’t ask. The bathrooms were more or less clean, and get this: there was even a toilet paper! Though it took a great skill to actually use the bathroom because the train was swaying all the time. So overall the train experience was okay, even though I wouldn’t call it my favorite way of travel :)

And finally this morning we arrived to Odessa train station at 6:00. Our friends Lena and Kostya were waiting for us – it was so cool to finally see them after 11 years! After a short drive to their apartment, the moment we were waiting for such a long time finally arrived – Raisa was waiting for us! Here is her first picture with us this morning: isn't she precious?


Now it's time to go to the Regional Inspector's office to prepare a lot of paperwork that we have to send back to SDA. More later!

Hello from JFK

Hi everyone, we are at JFK waiting for our flight to Kiev. While Oleg is checking out all the numerous duty free shops here, I've decided to update the blog. We flew to JFK by JetBlue, and the flight was fabulous – plenty of legroom, individual TVs with dozens of channels, we were very happy customers. We’ve never used JetBlue before, but we’ll definitely fly them again.

After collecting our luggage, we took a cart to put it on, and let me tell you, it was the best $3 we've ever spent :) We took a train to a terminal #4 where Aerosvit is located and found out that our flight is delayed for 4 hours. This is very normal for me :) Every time I fly, at least one of the flights needs to be cancelled or delayed, so I wasn’t even surprised. Then we started looking for the Aerosvit check-in counter, and it was very easy to find: most of the people in line spoke Russian! It was so cool! But the coolest thing was that we've got the meal vouchers from Aerosvit! It's the first time in my experience when the airline gave out the vouchers because of the delay! So now we are about to spend them :) With the delay we are expected to arrive to Kiev at about 4pm their time on Monday. It still gives us enough time to rest before our appointment on Tuesday.

We were very surprised to find out that free Internet connection is not available at JFK. At least we couldn't find it. The only wireless network we could connect to, required a payment, and of course we paid because I'm addicted to the Internet :)

Thank you so much to all of you for the words of support and best wishes! It means a lot to us!

Leaving on Sunday...

The day has come: we are leaving tomorrow! Suitcases are packed, major items on the "to-do" list are checked off, detailed instructions for Alex, Victoria and my Mom are written down, and I'm ready to wear my high-heeled boots - it will be interesting to see whether I can still blend in... This is it!

Yesterday was a very special last day at work for both Oleg and myself. We received so many good wishes and kind words of support and encouragement that we feel much better knowing how many people keep us in their thoughts and prayers. Of course, Oleg thinks his co-workers are the best. But I’ll tell you a little secret – my co-workers take the first place :) We love you, guys!

Our next post will be from Kiev!

A Mommy Bear (3 days to go)

I've got this great idea about a Mommy Bear from Shelley, another fellow adoptive parent. Victoria and I went to the Build-a-Bear store and created a Mommy Bear for her to hold on to while I'm in Ukraine! This Mommy Bear can even speak with Mommy's pre-recorded voice :) It was a big hit, so I hope it will make it easier for Victoria to be without me.

Luckily our son doesn't need a Mommy Bear anymore :) Though Oleg and I managed to spend some quality time with him this week, which is not an easy task - he's either at school or at work, or out :)

We are more or less ready to go, just 3 more days... It's a very emotional time for us. Not only we are about to become Raisa's parents, but also we are going back to our homeland for the first time in 11 years. We left Odessa on the cold November day in 1996 with just the clothes on our backs and knowing how to say "Hi", Bye" and "How are you" in English. We found our American dream, and we'll do everything possible to help our new daughter to find hers.

Countdown - 10 days

10 days to go. Are we ready? Not really :) I sort of gave up on the lists - I won't be able to finish them all. Instead, I'm concentrating on spending time with Victoria and taking it one day at a time. This weekend we went to the mall, and had a little photosession:

I was also thinking about our process in Ukraine. Here it is in a nutshell:

On Sunday, November 18th, we fly to NY by JetBlue, and then to Kiev by Aerosvit (Ukrainian Airlines). We arrive to Kiev on Monday, November 19th and have our appointment at SDA (State Department of Adoption) on Tuesday, November 20th. Then we take a train to Odessa that same evening.

Once we get to Odessa, we meet with the inspector of the region (something like a town in the States), and write an application to adopt Raisa. If inspector is an agreement that we can proceed with adoption, he/she writes an opinion on whether the adoption meets the best interests of the child. This opinion letter along with many other documents is sent back to Kiev for SDA approval. SDA takes 5 business days to review these documents and then hopefully gives us the consent to adopt. The consent is sent back to Odessa and we can schedule a court date (hopefully within the next week or so).

If the court is successfull, we have to wait mandatory 10 calendar days (sometimes more if the 10th day falls on the weekend) to get the court decree. During these 10 days, anyone can appeal the court decision (hopefully not!)

Once we have a court decree, we can apply for a new birth certificate where we listed as the parents, and with the new birth certificate we can apply for the passport. Getting passport can take up to 10 days or more, but very often it takes 2-3 days, depending on the region and on the expediting fees.

With the passport in hand we go back to Kiev for the medical exam and to apply for a visa. This process takes about 3 business days, and after that we can go home! So it's hard to predict when we'll come home, but I really hope it will be before the holidays.

I also wanted to say a huge thank you to my friend and co-worker for your generous gift toward our adoption expenses - I don't have words to describe my appreciation for your kindness. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

16 days

I'm overwhelmed. Why the "to-do" lists are getting bigger and bigger despite the checking off items daily??? I'm so glad to be able to check with my online friends to make sure I haven't missed anything! Thank you, Tami, for reminding me about the snowplow service (actually you were talking about winterizing, and it triggered my snowplow item :)

So where am I with the lists?

- Call the bank to order the new money. Check.
- Call the credit card company to make sure the card will work in Ukraine. Check.
- Buy money belts and international adapters. Check.
- Sign the Power of Attorney document/Medial Release form. Check.
- Talk to the school district about Raisa's placement. Check.
- Buy furniture for Raisa's bedroom. Check.
- Let Victoria's teachers know we'll be out of country. Check.
- Print out the embassy forms and other paperwork to take with us. Check.
- Write a list of emergency phone numbers and all Victoria's activities for my Mom. Check.

What else is on the list? The big items still need to be checked off are:

- Order snowplowing service
- Schedule Internet Bill Payments until the end of December
- Choose and print out pictures for the photoalbum

Plus I have a thousand smaller items to check off :)

So as you can see, I'm stressed out. But I put off all lists to take Victoria trick-or-treating. I'm biased of course, but I think she was the most adorable ice princess ever :)

The Order of Toasts and 19 days to go

After I wrote about the customs and superstitions last week, my friend Kelly asked me to write about the order of toasts for gatherings. The following is Odessa's version, so it can be totally different in other parts of Ukraine :)

- Rule #1 - don't drink without toasting! You can be considered an alcoholic!

- The first toast is always for the occasion. If it's a birthday party - drink for the person whose birthday is celebrated.

- The second toast at a birthday party is for the parents of the person whose birthday is celebrated (if they are still alive)

- The third toast varies. Most of the time it's for the women present at the party. You can say in Russian "Za prisutstvuyuschih zdes dam"

- Then it's a good idea to toast relatives - you can separately drink for siblings of the person giving the party, his kids, grandparents, etc. - depends on the situation

- After all relatives are taken care of, people usually toast for friendship

- At some point of time, usually at the end of the party, the hosts will toast all guests. Sometimes it means the party is over, but not necessarily.

- If you are asked to give a toast, make sure you toast the health of the hosts.

If you don't want to drink, sometimes the hosts can be offended. There are a couple of good excuses not to drink: being a designated driver, or you can say that you are taking medications that can't be mixed with alcohol.


On the adoption front we have 19 days to go and I'm totally terrified. Hopefully I'll be able to survive these remaining days :)

Russian Customs and Superstitions

My friend Melissa asked me about Ukrainian customs, and I decided to brush up my memory on some of the customs and superstitions (couldn't remember them all though). After living in the States for 11 years, we no longer believe in many of them, though some still rule on our household :)

Customs

- Only an odd number of flowers can be given as a gift. The even numbers are usually brought to the funerals. I still enjoy getting 3-5-7 roses, but the dozen doesn't shock me anymore.

- Men usually shake hands, but women never do.

- When you are invited to someone else's house, you should bring a gift. Usually it's a dessert, a bottle of wine (or vodka :), flowers, etc.

- Don't drink without a toast! You must propose a toast! The glass can't be put back on the table between the time a toast proposed and the time you drink.

- The drinks are usually served at the time of dinner, so you need to be able to eat and drink at the same time.

- Sit quietly for several seconds before leaving on a long trip. Usually we load the luggage in the car, return to the house, and do it :)

- It's believed that to avoid colds in the winter, you have to keep your body warm at all times. Poor kids are usually dressed in so many layers, they end up sweating and catch a cold anyway. So having compared the way I dressed Alex in Ukraine and Victoria here, I can say that American way is much better :) But keep in mind that dressing your child lightly will be considered neglect in Ukraine, so make sure to follow the rule over there!

Superstitions:

- Do not whistle indoors - you won't have any money! Victoria is not allowed to whistle in our house :)

- If you step on your somebody elses's toes by accident, you have to let the other person step on your shoe, or you will have a conflict.

- If you forgot something after your left the house, you can't go back - it's a bad luck.

- Though some people say it's OK as long as you look in the mirror when you return to the house to retrieve your item.

- Don't show newborn baby to other people until the baby is 1 month old. The only exception is immediate family - parents, siblings, etc. We broke this rule and went to our friends house when Victoria was 7 days old. It was okay!

- Don't buy anything for the baby while pregnant. Baby shower is a foreign concept in
Ukraine. I totally broke this rule while pregnant with Victoria :)

- Don't celebrate a birthday early.

- Don't demonstrate somebody else's wound or surgery on yourself, it's a bad luck.

- When you see somebody on the street with a full water bucket, it's a good luck. Empty buckets - bad luck. I haven't seen anybody in America with a bucket yet, so I guess this rule doesn't count.

- If you are not married - don't sit at the corner of the table, otherwise you won't marry for another 7 years.

- Black cat is a sign of bad luck. If you see a black cat on the street, try to take another route :)

- Knock on wood and spit three times over your left shoulder for good luck. If someone praises you, or your kids, make sure to knock on the wood 3 times, and pretend to spit three times over your left shoulder. This is done so that you are not jinxed by the comment. When you see someone's baby, don't ever say "what a beautiful baby" - parents will be afraid you'll jinx it. Instead say something like "what a bad baby", then proceed to knock and spit, so the parents will see you actually were taken with the baby, but you are afraid that your positive comment will jinx it. I'm serious! Don't laugh!

- Do not shake hands or kiss over the threshold of a door.

- Don't look into the broken mirror.

- Don't ever put your keys on the table.

- If you spilled salt, you'll have a conflict with someone.

- If your nose itches, it means you'll be drinking soon :)

- If you by mistake put your clothes on inside out, it means somebody will beat you up :) People should point this out, wait for you to fix the clothes and then pretend to beat you, so that nobody else can really beat you after that :)