Making Progress

Busy-busy-busy… That’s how I can describe the life in our household now :) Where to begin? We accomplished a lot during these 3 weeks home. Just 2 days after Rachel and I came back, we went to our local Social Security office to apply for her Social Security card. I know that many adoptive parents had a hard time getting it: some of them were asked to show CoC (Certificate of Citizenship), which usually comes about 45 days after arrival, the others were requested to bring something “American”, i.e. insurance card, etc. Luckily, the Birth Certificate, Adoption Certificate and Ukrainian passport with the Visa were enough for our local SS office. Just 10 days later we received her Social Security Card!

My next goal was to apply for her US passport. Some parents are usually waiting for the CoC, but since internationally adopted kids are the US citizens upon arriving on American soil, it’s not necessary. So a couple of days ago we went to apply for Rachel’s passport. I specifically ordered another translation of her Birth and Adoption Certificates from the Hudson-Neva translation. Their translations are notarized and have a raised seal, so they look very official, and the price is very reasonable. We had to leave the original adoption certificate with the translation as well as her Ukrainian passport with the Visa, but we were assured that everything will come back to us safe and sound in 4 weeks. After that our last step will be to register Rachel at Ukrainian Consulate, and our after-adoption paperwork phase will be done until the next January when we are required to send the yearly post-placement report to Ukrainian Embassy.

The school work is not easy for Rachel, but her teachers are amazing. I met with her homeroom teacher and ESL teacher last week, and we had a very good discussion about what’s the best for Rachel and how we can help her to catch up with her peers. Academically she’s very behind – I would guess she’s at about 2nd grade level in math, and Russian reading. But this is very normal for a post-institutionalized child, and with proper tutoring she should be able to catch up. Currently she is in the 4th grade being one of the oldest in her class. I thought it would be better to place her in the 3rd grade, but now I see it won’t make any difference. With her teachers’ suggestions we decided to leave her in the 4th grade, but take a totally different approach to her school work – we are starting from scratch! She’s given homework appropriate for her level, and we are taking it one day at a time. There are 2 girls speaking Russian and/or Ukrainian in her 4th grade class (and none in the 3rd grade), which is a huge plus since she can communicate with them and get help as needed. The other kids in class are trying to include her in all activities, so she’s making new friends even without speaking the language!

On Valentine’s Day I sent her to school with the cards for all kids in the class, and she came home with LOTS of Valentines! She was ecstatic! I don’t think she’s ever got so many cards and presents before, especially on Valentine’s Day!

Rachel’s riding the bus like a pro, and last week she even took the late bus after she stayed in school for intramurals! She also started buying her own lunch in cafeteria, which is not easy for a girl with almost no English!

Last week we went to the dentist, and she was a trooper during her first ever dental cleaning! She has a lot of cavities, but luckily for us, all of them are in the baby teeth, so no need for fillings :) Though she’ll need to have braces next year when she turns 11, which is earlier than most kids, so we need to start saving :)

So overall I’m very pleased with her transition. Each day makes a difference, and at the end of 3 weeks she made a lot of progress. And I can finally calculate the amount of groceries we need :)

Here are some pictures from the last couple of weeks:

Getting ready for bath:


Valentine's Day party at Victoria's preschool:


Playing outside:

2 weeks home

After being home for almost 2 weeks, we are slowly adjusting to our “new” normal routine, which is not an easy task :)

Rachel started school last Wednesday, and all this week she rode the bus to school as any other American 4th-grader. Luckily I have my Mom who’s getting Rachel ready for school in the morning and picks her up on the bus stop in the afternoon. It’s obviously harder for her to take care of both girls now (even though Rachel is in school for most of the day), but she’s a trooper! Alex is helping out as well – yesterday he picked Rachel up at the bus stop since my Mom had an appointment.

Most of the time the girls are getting along very well. However, I noticed some sibling rivalry between them, nothing unexpected, but totally new to me because Alex and Victoria never experienced it with the 14 years age difference. It started just a couple of days ago when the novelty of having a sister wore off for each girl :) “Mama, she’s doing this and that!”, “Mama, she’s not doing this and that” and so on. After growing up in the former Soviet Union, I’m very intolerant of tattling since in the communist times people were forced to tell authorities on each other. So I told them I don’t want to hear this nonsense unless it’s something really important. Rachel is craving our attention, but we can’t spend all the time with her only, so we have to be inventive and make sure we have quality time with Victoria as well. And with Alex when he’s available :)

Next week Rachel has a dentist appointment, and I’m afraid she’ll eventually need to have a lot of work done :( But at least the dentists in America are not as scary as in Ukraine, so I hope it won’t be to so hard for her. Our pediatrician declared her very healthy (I’m knocking on wood :) and the only thing left is the Eye Doctor appointment.

Overall I’m very pleased with our transition despite our daily ups and downs. It helps a lot to be able to seek advice from the other parents who also adopted older kids. My friend Tami returned home last week with her new daughter. Kathy and Kelly are in Ukraine now adopting older kids. And Melissa and Steve returned home a couple of weeks ago with their 3 sons, so now they are the parents of six kids having 3 boys and 3 girls! They created a very touching video of their story, make sure you have a tissue in hand when watching it:

Mama, I’m so fortunate!

Those were the words I heard from Rachel when I picked her up from school! Yes, you read this right – she’s already enrolled in school! Originally I wanted her to start school a little bit later, but when the school district indicated she can start on Wednesday, I decided to go for it. The sooner she starts school, the sooner she starts learning English! I tried to teach her English, but it doesn’t really work since we speak Russian at home all the time.

Anyway, we survived the first 6 days at home, and Rachel is adjusting remarkably well, which can’t be said about her mother :) I’m still adjusting to the time difference, and recuperating from everything I’ve been through in Ukraine.

The first couple of days we did a lot of administrative tasks – applied for a Social Security Number, registered for school and had a physical done. On the first day of school both Rachel and I were a little bit apprehensive – it’s always scary to go to a new school, and if you don’t speak the language it’s even scarier. But all my worries were unnecessary. When I came to pick her up, she came out with a huge smile on her face and said: “ Mama, I’m so fortunate, I love my school!” She started her first day of school with a one-on-one session with ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher and spent the rest of the day in the regular class setting. There is one Russian and one Ukrainian girl in the class, so Rachel has somebody to talk to and ask questions if needed (she speaks Russian and understands Ukrainian). Currently the school assigned her to be in the 4th grade, but I’m thinking she’ll be better off in the 3rd grade, so I’m going to talk to the school counselor about it. But overall I’m very pleased with the school so far – we have great public schools in our town.

Our house is much louder now with the 2 girls :) We haven’t set the routine yet – it’s hard for me to go from 1 to 2 kids (Alex doesn’t count :) – who takes the shower first, who goes to bed first, etc. But I’m sure we’ll be able to set a schedule that works for everybody.

The other change I need to get used to is the amount of groceries :) Victoria hardly eats anything, and I don’t mind since she is in the 85% in weight. Luckily she loves to eat her vegetables and to drink her milk, so I don’t have to worry about it. Alex is never home, and Oleg and I are not a big eaters. Rachel is totally different :) This tiny girl can eat! So far I can’t get the amount of groceries right – we went to Wegmans on Sunday, and on Monday night I needed to go again. Then another Wegmans visit on Wednesday night. Today is Friday, and it looks like we need another grocery run before the weekend :)

So far Rachel is on her best behavior, and though I know it’s still a “honeymoon”, I hope it will continue! The fact that we speak the same language is a great help, and she feels very comfortable in our house. She had a lot of “firsts” since she came here 6 days ago, and it’s a joy watching her to discover something new. The garage door opener was a hit – how come the door is opening by itself :) The next one was the fact that Mom can drive. “Mama, can you drive? REALLY? Are you a good driver?” And on and on and on. But the most remarkable “first” was her first ever English sentence. She told me “I love you” in English, and I didn’t teach her that!

Here are some pictures from our last week in Ukraine: