This past weekend we drove 6 hours to New Jersey to visit our dear friends Anya and Dima. We’ve known each other forever – Anya, Oleg and met in 1st grade and were classmates all the way to the High School graduation. Then Anya, Dima and I were classmates at Odessa State University studying Math and Computer Science. So every time we get to see them it’s a treat.
It was a first road trip for Rachel. She loved it! Both girls had fun in the car watching cartoons as well as educational phonics DVDs :) We had to drive through downtown Philadelphia, and Rachel finally experienced bumper-to-bumper traffic in America! The traffic in Odessa is very bad, so she was very surprised not see it in our every day life in Rochester (there is no traffic on her school bus route :)
The weather was gorgeous – 60s and sunny – a welcome change after snow and 30s! All 5 kids (they have 3 kids ages 9, 12 and 14) had a blast riding the bikes, fishing and even riding the boats! So overall we had a great weekend, and the girls can’t wait to see their friends again.
In another news I’m happy to report that our post-adoption paperwork is done! Here is what we’ve accomplished:
- Social Security Number: applied in 2 days after arrival, received 10 days later;
- US Passport: applied 2 weeks after arrival (could’ve done earlier, we didn't need SSN to apply), received 3 weeks later;
- Certificate of Citizenship: received by mail 37 days after arrival;
- Ukrainian Consulate registration: sent last week!
Some people do these steps in a different order, but I wanted to get Rachel’s US passport before sending her Ukrainian passport to Ukrainian Consulate for registration. They take a loooong time returning Ukrainian passports (like several months!), that’s why I didn’t feel comfortable sending the only document verifying Rachel’s immigration status. But now she has her US passport, so I don’t really care about her Ukrainian passport anymore. Knowing from other people’s blogs how the Ukrainian Consulate tends to lose important paperwork, I sent Rachel’s registration by certified mail with return receipt. This way they won’t be able to lie and say they didn’t receive it. I intend to do the same when sending annual post-adoption report to them next year.
For those of you waiting to go, I would really recommend getting “Adoption Certificate” in Ukraine. It’s not required for American families, but it’s very handy! This certificate is issued at the same place where you get a new Birth Certificate, and it looks very similar – one page with parents names, adopted child’s old and new names, the court date and court decree number. It’s much more convenient to show this one page document than a multi-page court decree written in legalese. I also ordered certified translation of both Birth and Adoption Certificates from Hudson Translations, and used them everywhere. They have a raised seal and look very authentic!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Friday, March 7, 2008
International Women's Day
Tomorrow marks 6 weeks since Rachel came home. It’s also a second biggest holiday in Ukraine (after New Year’s) – International Women’s Day! Women of all ages receive gifts – daughters from mothers, teachers from students, aunts from nephews, etc. And since it’s a national holiday, everyone gets a day off! We don’t celebrate it with the gifts in our household anymore - Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day are enough – but it still feels like a holiday to us!
We’ve come a long way during these 6 weeks at home. I’ve become a strict disciplinarian, which is a totally new role for me :) We have a routine for everything: playtime, study time, TV, bedtime, etc. Of course, Victoria had a routine before, but now I really enforce it, and I think it’s the reason Rachel is doing so well. All children are different, and it wouldn’t even occur to me to send Alex to bed at 8:00 pm when he was 10 years old. But Alex was always very mature, so this approach wouldn’t work for him. As most post-institutionalized kids, Rachel is emotionally much younger than her biological age. She’s more like 7- or 8-year old, and she needs a totally different approach than home-grown 10-year olds. I’m tutoring her every day in Math and English, and she’s really making progress! We started from scratch with the kindergarten and first-grade level work, and both Victoria and Rachel are doing amazingly well. I’m sure Rachel will be able to catch up very soon on her age-appropriate level when she learns the basics. Victoria really benefits from these sessions, and I’m afraid she’ll be bored in kindergarten next year :)
What else is new? Rachel experienced a lot of “firsts” during these 6 weeks.
First visit to the Strong Museum, which is one of the best children’s museums in the nation. The girls had a blast “working” as cashiers at the children’s Wegmans:
doing the weather forecast on TV:
and riding the carousel:
First visit to the mall, with an ice cream at Maggie-Moos:
First visit to the zoo:
First haircut! The hairdresser just trimmed the ends, but the result was awesome:
First gymnastics lesson! Rachel is very good in gymnastics, she should definitely try out for varsity team in high school :)
I started thinking about summer and already signed Rachel up for soccer and swimming. Both girls will go to day camps, it should keep them busy :)
Overall I’m very pleased with our transition so far. Rachel’s attaching very well, the girls are the best of friends, and our life is slowly getting back to our “new” normal.
We’ve come a long way during these 6 weeks at home. I’ve become a strict disciplinarian, which is a totally new role for me :) We have a routine for everything: playtime, study time, TV, bedtime, etc. Of course, Victoria had a routine before, but now I really enforce it, and I think it’s the reason Rachel is doing so well. All children are different, and it wouldn’t even occur to me to send Alex to bed at 8:00 pm when he was 10 years old. But Alex was always very mature, so this approach wouldn’t work for him. As most post-institutionalized kids, Rachel is emotionally much younger than her biological age. She’s more like 7- or 8-year old, and she needs a totally different approach than home-grown 10-year olds. I’m tutoring her every day in Math and English, and she’s really making progress! We started from scratch with the kindergarten and first-grade level work, and both Victoria and Rachel are doing amazingly well. I’m sure Rachel will be able to catch up very soon on her age-appropriate level when she learns the basics. Victoria really benefits from these sessions, and I’m afraid she’ll be bored in kindergarten next year :)
What else is new? Rachel experienced a lot of “firsts” during these 6 weeks.
First visit to the Strong Museum, which is one of the best children’s museums in the nation. The girls had a blast “working” as cashiers at the children’s Wegmans:
doing the weather forecast on TV:
and riding the carousel:
First visit to the mall, with an ice cream at Maggie-Moos:
First visit to the zoo:
First haircut! The hairdresser just trimmed the ends, but the result was awesome:
First gymnastics lesson! Rachel is very good in gymnastics, she should definitely try out for varsity team in high school :)
I started thinking about summer and already signed Rachel up for soccer and swimming. Both girls will go to day camps, it should keep them busy :)
Overall I’m very pleased with our transition so far. Rachel’s attaching very well, the girls are the best of friends, and our life is slowly getting back to our “new” normal.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Making Progress
Busy-busy-busy… That’s how I can describe the life in our household now :) Where to begin? We accomplished a lot during these 3 weeks home. Just 2 days after Rachel and I came back, we went to our local Social Security office to apply for her Social Security card. I know that many adoptive parents had a hard time getting it: some of them were asked to show CoC (Certificate of Citizenship), which usually comes about 45 days after arrival, the others were requested to bring something “American”, i.e. insurance card, etc. Luckily, the Birth Certificate, Adoption Certificate and Ukrainian passport with the Visa were enough for our local SS office. Just 10 days later we received her Social Security Card!
My next goal was to apply for her US passport. Some parents are usually waiting for the CoC, but since internationally adopted kids are the US citizens upon arriving on American soil, it’s not necessary. So a couple of days ago we went to apply for Rachel’s passport. I specifically ordered another translation of her Birth and Adoption Certificates from the Hudson-Neva translation. Their translations are notarized and have a raised seal, so they look very official, and the price is very reasonable. We had to leave the original adoption certificate with the translation as well as her Ukrainian passport with the Visa, but we were assured that everything will come back to us safe and sound in 4 weeks. After that our last step will be to register Rachel at Ukrainian Consulate, and our after-adoption paperwork phase will be done until the next January when we are required to send the yearly post-placement report to Ukrainian Embassy.
The school work is not easy for Rachel, but her teachers are amazing. I met with her homeroom teacher and ESL teacher last week, and we had a very good discussion about what’s the best for Rachel and how we can help her to catch up with her peers. Academically she’s very behind – I would guess she’s at about 2nd grade level in math, and Russian reading. But this is very normal for a post-institutionalized child, and with proper tutoring she should be able to catch up. Currently she is in the 4th grade being one of the oldest in her class. I thought it would be better to place her in the 3rd grade, but now I see it won’t make any difference. With her teachers’ suggestions we decided to leave her in the 4th grade, but take a totally different approach to her school work – we are starting from scratch! She’s given homework appropriate for her level, and we are taking it one day at a time. There are 2 girls speaking Russian and/or Ukrainian in her 4th grade class (and none in the 3rd grade), which is a huge plus since she can communicate with them and get help as needed. The other kids in class are trying to include her in all activities, so she’s making new friends even without speaking the language!
On Valentine’s Day I sent her to school with the cards for all kids in the class, and she came home with LOTS of Valentines! She was ecstatic! I don’t think she’s ever got so many cards and presents before, especially on Valentine’s Day!
Rachel’s riding the bus like a pro, and last week she even took the late bus after she stayed in school for intramurals! She also started buying her own lunch in cafeteria, which is not easy for a girl with almost no English!
Last week we went to the dentist, and she was a trooper during her first ever dental cleaning! She has a lot of cavities, but luckily for us, all of them are in the baby teeth, so no need for fillings :) Though she’ll need to have braces next year when she turns 11, which is earlier than most kids, so we need to start saving :)
So overall I’m very pleased with her transition. Each day makes a difference, and at the end of 3 weeks she made a lot of progress. And I can finally calculate the amount of groceries we need :)
Here are some pictures from the last couple of weeks:
Getting ready for bath:
Valentine's Day party at Victoria's preschool:
Playing outside:
My next goal was to apply for her US passport. Some parents are usually waiting for the CoC, but since internationally adopted kids are the US citizens upon arriving on American soil, it’s not necessary. So a couple of days ago we went to apply for Rachel’s passport. I specifically ordered another translation of her Birth and Adoption Certificates from the Hudson-Neva translation. Their translations are notarized and have a raised seal, so they look very official, and the price is very reasonable. We had to leave the original adoption certificate with the translation as well as her Ukrainian passport with the Visa, but we were assured that everything will come back to us safe and sound in 4 weeks. After that our last step will be to register Rachel at Ukrainian Consulate, and our after-adoption paperwork phase will be done until the next January when we are required to send the yearly post-placement report to Ukrainian Embassy.
The school work is not easy for Rachel, but her teachers are amazing. I met with her homeroom teacher and ESL teacher last week, and we had a very good discussion about what’s the best for Rachel and how we can help her to catch up with her peers. Academically she’s very behind – I would guess she’s at about 2nd grade level in math, and Russian reading. But this is very normal for a post-institutionalized child, and with proper tutoring she should be able to catch up. Currently she is in the 4th grade being one of the oldest in her class. I thought it would be better to place her in the 3rd grade, but now I see it won’t make any difference. With her teachers’ suggestions we decided to leave her in the 4th grade, but take a totally different approach to her school work – we are starting from scratch! She’s given homework appropriate for her level, and we are taking it one day at a time. There are 2 girls speaking Russian and/or Ukrainian in her 4th grade class (and none in the 3rd grade), which is a huge plus since she can communicate with them and get help as needed. The other kids in class are trying to include her in all activities, so she’s making new friends even without speaking the language!
On Valentine’s Day I sent her to school with the cards for all kids in the class, and she came home with LOTS of Valentines! She was ecstatic! I don’t think she’s ever got so many cards and presents before, especially on Valentine’s Day!
Rachel’s riding the bus like a pro, and last week she even took the late bus after she stayed in school for intramurals! She also started buying her own lunch in cafeteria, which is not easy for a girl with almost no English!
Last week we went to the dentist, and she was a trooper during her first ever dental cleaning! She has a lot of cavities, but luckily for us, all of them are in the baby teeth, so no need for fillings :) Though she’ll need to have braces next year when she turns 11, which is earlier than most kids, so we need to start saving :)
So overall I’m very pleased with her transition. Each day makes a difference, and at the end of 3 weeks she made a lot of progress. And I can finally calculate the amount of groceries we need :)
Here are some pictures from the last couple of weeks:
Getting ready for bath:
Valentine's Day party at Victoria's preschool:
Playing outside:
Friday, February 8, 2008
2 weeks home
After being home for almost 2 weeks, we are slowly adjusting to our “new” normal routine, which is not an easy task :)
Rachel started school last Wednesday, and all this week she rode the bus to school as any other American 4th-grader. Luckily I have my Mom who’s getting Rachel ready for school in the morning and picks her up on the bus stop in the afternoon. It’s obviously harder for her to take care of both girls now (even though Rachel is in school for most of the day), but she’s a trooper! Alex is helping out as well – yesterday he picked Rachel up at the bus stop since my Mom had an appointment.
Most of the time the girls are getting along very well. However, I noticed some sibling rivalry between them, nothing unexpected, but totally new to me because Alex and Victoria never experienced it with the 14 years age difference. It started just a couple of days ago when the novelty of having a sister wore off for each girl :) “Mama, she’s doing this and that!”, “Mama, she’s not doing this and that” and so on. After growing up in the former Soviet Union, I’m very intolerant of tattling since in the communist times people were forced to tell authorities on each other. So I told them I don’t want to hear this nonsense unless it’s something really important. Rachel is craving our attention, but we can’t spend all the time with her only, so we have to be inventive and make sure we have quality time with Victoria as well. And with Alex when he’s available :)
Next week Rachel has a dentist appointment, and I’m afraid she’ll eventually need to have a lot of work done :( But at least the dentists in America are not as scary as in Ukraine, so I hope it won’t be to so hard for her. Our pediatrician declared her very healthy (I’m knocking on wood :) and the only thing left is the Eye Doctor appointment.
Overall I’m very pleased with our transition despite our daily ups and downs. It helps a lot to be able to seek advice from the other parents who also adopted older kids. My friend Tami returned home last week with her new daughter. Kathy and Kelly are in Ukraine now adopting older kids. And Melissa and Steve returned home a couple of weeks ago with their 3 sons, so now they are the parents of six kids having 3 boys and 3 girls! They created a very touching video of their story, make sure you have a tissue in hand when watching it:
Rachel started school last Wednesday, and all this week she rode the bus to school as any other American 4th-grader. Luckily I have my Mom who’s getting Rachel ready for school in the morning and picks her up on the bus stop in the afternoon. It’s obviously harder for her to take care of both girls now (even though Rachel is in school for most of the day), but she’s a trooper! Alex is helping out as well – yesterday he picked Rachel up at the bus stop since my Mom had an appointment.
Most of the time the girls are getting along very well. However, I noticed some sibling rivalry between them, nothing unexpected, but totally new to me because Alex and Victoria never experienced it with the 14 years age difference. It started just a couple of days ago when the novelty of having a sister wore off for each girl :) “Mama, she’s doing this and that!”, “Mama, she’s not doing this and that” and so on. After growing up in the former Soviet Union, I’m very intolerant of tattling since in the communist times people were forced to tell authorities on each other. So I told them I don’t want to hear this nonsense unless it’s something really important. Rachel is craving our attention, but we can’t spend all the time with her only, so we have to be inventive and make sure we have quality time with Victoria as well. And with Alex when he’s available :)
Next week Rachel has a dentist appointment, and I’m afraid she’ll eventually need to have a lot of work done :( But at least the dentists in America are not as scary as in Ukraine, so I hope it won’t be to so hard for her. Our pediatrician declared her very healthy (I’m knocking on wood :) and the only thing left is the Eye Doctor appointment.
Overall I’m very pleased with our transition despite our daily ups and downs. It helps a lot to be able to seek advice from the other parents who also adopted older kids. My friend Tami returned home last week with her new daughter. Kathy and Kelly are in Ukraine now adopting older kids. And Melissa and Steve returned home a couple of weeks ago with their 3 sons, so now they are the parents of six kids having 3 boys and 3 girls! They created a very touching video of their story, make sure you have a tissue in hand when watching it:
Friday, February 1, 2008
Mama, I’m so fortunate!
Those were the words I heard from Rachel when I picked her up from school! Yes, you read this right – she’s already enrolled in school! Originally I wanted her to start school a little bit later, but when the school district indicated she can start on Wednesday, I decided to go for it. The sooner she starts school, the sooner she starts learning English! I tried to teach her English, but it doesn’t really work since we speak Russian at home all the time.
Anyway, we survived the first 6 days at home, and Rachel is adjusting remarkably well, which can’t be said about her mother :) I’m still adjusting to the time difference, and recuperating from everything I’ve been through in Ukraine.
The first couple of days we did a lot of administrative tasks – applied for a Social Security Number, registered for school and had a physical done. On the first day of school both Rachel and I were a little bit apprehensive – it’s always scary to go to a new school, and if you don’t speak the language it’s even scarier. But all my worries were unnecessary. When I came to pick her up, she came out with a huge smile on her face and said: “ Mama, I’m so fortunate, I love my school!” She started her first day of school with a one-on-one session with ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher and spent the rest of the day in the regular class setting. There is one Russian and one Ukrainian girl in the class, so Rachel has somebody to talk to and ask questions if needed (she speaks Russian and understands Ukrainian). Currently the school assigned her to be in the 4th grade, but I’m thinking she’ll be better off in the 3rd grade, so I’m going to talk to the school counselor about it. But overall I’m very pleased with the school so far – we have great public schools in our town.
Our house is much louder now with the 2 girls :) We haven’t set the routine yet – it’s hard for me to go from 1 to 2 kids (Alex doesn’t count :) – who takes the shower first, who goes to bed first, etc. But I’m sure we’ll be able to set a schedule that works for everybody.
The other change I need to get used to is the amount of groceries :) Victoria hardly eats anything, and I don’t mind since she is in the 85% in weight. Luckily she loves to eat her vegetables and to drink her milk, so I don’t have to worry about it. Alex is never home, and Oleg and I are not a big eaters. Rachel is totally different :) This tiny girl can eat! So far I can’t get the amount of groceries right – we went to Wegmans on Sunday, and on Monday night I needed to go again. Then another Wegmans visit on Wednesday night. Today is Friday, and it looks like we need another grocery run before the weekend :)
So far Rachel is on her best behavior, and though I know it’s still a “honeymoon”, I hope it will continue! The fact that we speak the same language is a great help, and she feels very comfortable in our house. She had a lot of “firsts” since she came here 6 days ago, and it’s a joy watching her to discover something new. The garage door opener was a hit – how come the door is opening by itself :) The next one was the fact that Mom can drive. “Mama, can you drive? REALLY? Are you a good driver?” And on and on and on. But the most remarkable “first” was her first ever English sentence. She told me “I love you” in English, and I didn’t teach her that!
Here are some pictures from our last week in Ukraine:
Saturday, January 26, 2008
We are on American soil!
Hi everyone, we made it safe and sound to the American soil! I’m writing from the JetBlue terminal at JFK while waiting for our flight to Rochester.
But let me start from the beginning and tell you the whole story starting with the passport. Caution: this is a very long entry (written on the long plane ride to JFK).
Similar to many parents who recently adopted from Odessa, we had a bit of a problem because Raya inherited a property. That’s great, right? Wrong! Not only her flat is in a very bad shape and in a very bad location, but also it’s almost impossible to legally sell a property owned by a minor. The law is trying to protect orphans by placing all kinds of legal roadblocks on their properties, but in reality these flats are often being taken away from the kids who own them. Anyway, who cares about a flat when we want to go home? So we’ve decided to leave it as is and think about it later when Raisa is older. Sounds like an easy solution, but nothing is easy in Ukraine. In this case we were required to submit a specific paper verifying the fact that Raisa does own a property, but doesn’t live there anymore. This paper was very important because we couldn’t receive a passport without it. Basically we needed to do the following: apply for the passport, get a special paper verifying the fact that we applied for the passport, go to another office, show them this paper, get a special stamp, and then bring the paper with the stamp back to the passport office to exchange it for the passport when it’s ready. I know, it’s very confusing! Honestly, my two graduate degrees are not enough to understand Ukrainian bureaucratic system :)
Lo and behold, we applied for the passport on Thursday evening, got this special paper and headed to another office on Monday the 21st since it was closed Friday – Sunday. This office was in a very poor part of the town, called Perecip. There were a lot of babushkas waiting in line, but it didn’t take very long, and we went in. The lady in charge seemed very nice, she even shared with me that her relatives adopted a 4-year old girl from Moscow, so I was cautiously optimistic. She sent us to the local Police Department (don’t ask me why – it’s beyond me!) to get another stamp to prepare for our stamp :) Off we went, found the Police Department, found a specific man in charge, showed him our paperwork, and received a stamp! Absolutely for free!!! Then back to the first office, then to another office, and finally at the end of the day the lady from the first office told us that we should be able to get our stamped paper on Wednesday. Why Wednesday, when it’s only Monday evening? Apparently she needed to go to another higher office on Wednesday morning to get the stamp because it was closed on Tuesday. Since I didn’t really expect the passport to be ready before Wednesday, I reluctantly agreed.
On Wednesday we were told to come “posle obeda” - after lunch. This is a very broad definition. Usually the lunch hour is from 1 to 2 p.m. After lunch could mean 2:10, or 2:30, or 3:00. At 2:00 sharp I called this woman and asked if I can come to pick it up. Do you want to guess what the answer was? Yes, you guessed right. The paper was not ready because we needed to supply more paperwork! Why didn’t you tell me about this additional paperwork on Monday, I would’ve done it on Tuesday? Her answer: I forgot! At this time the call from the passport office comes through, and I’m informed that Raisa’s passport is ready, and I can pick it up anytime as long as I have this special paper!!! Can you believe that? I finally have a passport but can’t pick it up???
At this point my friend Lena has had enough. She went to that office with the look on her face leaving no doubt – she won’t have “No” for the answer. To make the long story short, she’s got the stamped paper. I had to use my emergency fund, but it was worth it :)
So with the priceless paper in hand, Raisa and I headed to the passport office. By this time I was a nervous wreck, and I was not sure I’ll get the passport – who knows, maybe the stamp was not right or something else? But on the way to the passport office I ran into my guardian angel – Tami! I guess it was a good omen because 5 minutes later we were able to exchange the paper for the passport! Thank you, Tami!
I forgot to mention before that the Passport Office is a part of the Police Department, and all workers are police officers! I was very intimidated by the head of the Passport Office in the major uniform when we applied for the passport. She looked very scary :) This time when we came to get the passport, she actually smiled, and I noticed that she’s not as old and scary as I originally thought. But when Raisa on impulse gave her a hug and a kiss, the genuine smile on her face transformed her to a very good-looking woman. As many other people before, she was very surprised when I signed for the passport in English and showed her my American passport. She assumed I was a translator!
Now it’s 5:30 on Wednesday, and there is still time to get train tickets and take a night train to Kiev. Of course there are no tickets, but a call to a special ticket-agent lady with the promise of some extra gratitude worked wonders, and we had our tickets in hand. Then off to the apartment to pack, to make several calls to our friends to say “good bye”, and to finish some other tasks. And finally it was time for Rachel Alice to say “good bye” to the city where she was born and raised for the first 10 years of her life, and to her guardian Lena with whom she lived for the last several months. It was a very emotional time, but finally the train departed and we were on our way to Kiev.
The train ride was okay, a little bit worse than last time in December, but still manageable. Raya and I had the whole compartment to ourselves, so we had some privacy. She had fun riding the train, and slept soundly. I on the other hand didn’t sleep well because it was too hot in the cabin. The train arrived to Kiev at 8:30, and our great facilitator Sergey took us to the Medical Center for Raisa’s medical exam.
When I saw all these people waiting in lines everywhere at the Medical Center, I was so thankful that at home we don’t have to ask who’s the last in line when going to the doctor’s office. Luckily we didn’t have to wait in lines because all adoption cases are given a priority. But we needed to go to several rooms, and it took a lot of time. The first snag hit us in the very first room. I forgot Raisa’s pictures in Odessa! It was entirely my fault, but it was very easy to fix – just go and take another set of pictures. The next one was much worse. Raya’s medical form didn’t have the results of her blood work. She could get the blood work done at the Medical Center, but the results were ready only after 3:00 p.m. It didn’t work for us since we needed to drop off our paperwork at the Embassy before 12:00 on Thursday in order to receive the visa on Friday. Of course, I’m a nervous wreck again :) But Sergey wisely advises me to call the Embassy and ask if they can accept everything but the medical today. I call the Embassy and find out that it’s indeed possible to drop off the paperwork today and bring the medical tomorrow. Okay, it sounds good. We went to the photo place to take Raya’s pictures, then to the Embassy where a very nice young woman accepted all our paperwork (can you see how I like American Embassy?) and told us to come back on Friday at 2 p.m for the interview with the Consul. Note for pre-adoptive parents: it’s very convenient to fill out all Embassy forms ahead of time. I downloaded them from their website, and brought them with me. It worked out great because after the train ride and the Medical Center experience I was in no shape to fill out any paperwork :)
After Embassy we went back to the Medical Center to have the blood work done. The nurse immediately asked for Raisa’s passport. Well, I don’t have her passport anymore because I left it at the Embassy to get the visa! But the nurse is adamant – no passport, no blood work. At this point I break down and start crying. I’ve had enough! Fortunately, it works and the nurse takes the blood work (I didn’t do it on purpose, honestly!) But since we came back after 12, the result will be ready not at 3 today, but at 3 tomorrow! I feel like my blood pressure is rising again – we have a 2 p.m. interview with the Consul tomorrow! But Sergey found a solution once more – we paid a legal expediting fee to have the results by tomorrow morning. Then back to the doctor’s office, then back to another room for a couple of vaccinations (another legal $50), and finally we were told to come back for the final results next morning.
On Friday we arrived to the Medical Center bright and early to pick up the results. In typical Ukrainian fashion it took almost 2 hours, but after $85 (cost of the exam) and my nervous breakdown (related to the lack of Raisa’s passport again :) we finally had our results. After that the visa interview was a piece of cake. The Consul was extremely nice, he even talked to Raya in Russian, and 20 minutes later we were on our way with the Visa in hand!!!
For our last dinner in Ukraine we met my blogging friends Kathy and Matt at a restaurant on Kreschatik called “Domashnia kuhna” – it means homemade food in Russian. Just before we left for the restaurant, we had an interesting experience at our apartment. When I was trying to open the door, the doorknob came out, and the door wouldn’t open! It took us 15 minutes to finally open it, and by that time I thought we are going to be prisoners of that apartment forever :) Then we rode the subway – the first time for Raya - and finally saw Kathy and Matt. It was so great to visit with them and exchange our war stories. They only started their journey in Ukraine, so please keep them in your thoughts and prayers, as they are leaving for the region on Monday.
This morning we woke up at 5:00 a.m., and our facilitator took us to Borispol airport for our 8:20 a.m. flight to Frankfurt. Note to pre-adoptive parents: make sure you have your court decree with you! I was asked for it twice: at the check-in and at the customs. I knew about this requirement from other people blogs, so I was prepared. The check-in lady also asked for the Power of Attorney from Oleg in order for Raisa to leave the country. I explained that her father is in the States, and of course he wants her to leave Ukraine and go to her country. She was very skeptical, but the court decree was good enough and she let us go.
The flight was another “first” for Raisa. She was very afraid at the beginning, but after the plane took off, she had a lot of fun watching the clouds and eating her first ever airline food. We had only hour and a half between the flights, and with my luck, our flight was 30 minutes late! By the time it stopped taxiing, it was only 40 minutes before our flight to JFK! Can you imagine how high my blood pressure was? Luckily, the departing gate was at the same terminal, and after going through security we made it to the gate with 30 minutes until departure. The flight was already boarding, but we were assured we still have time while the Delta agents asked me to show Raisa’s special Embassy envelope. After another 10 minutes we finally boarded the plane.
And finally after another 8.5 hours flight, our plane touched the ground at JFK. The passport control took about 5 minutes, then another 2 minutes at a special immigration room, and voila – we have a new American Citizen! Our plane to Rochester is boarding soon, and our adoption journey is finally coming to the end. Stay tuned! I’ll try to post soon!
But let me start from the beginning and tell you the whole story starting with the passport. Caution: this is a very long entry (written on the long plane ride to JFK).
Similar to many parents who recently adopted from Odessa, we had a bit of a problem because Raya inherited a property. That’s great, right? Wrong! Not only her flat is in a very bad shape and in a very bad location, but also it’s almost impossible to legally sell a property owned by a minor. The law is trying to protect orphans by placing all kinds of legal roadblocks on their properties, but in reality these flats are often being taken away from the kids who own them. Anyway, who cares about a flat when we want to go home? So we’ve decided to leave it as is and think about it later when Raisa is older. Sounds like an easy solution, but nothing is easy in Ukraine. In this case we were required to submit a specific paper verifying the fact that Raisa does own a property, but doesn’t live there anymore. This paper was very important because we couldn’t receive a passport without it. Basically we needed to do the following: apply for the passport, get a special paper verifying the fact that we applied for the passport, go to another office, show them this paper, get a special stamp, and then bring the paper with the stamp back to the passport office to exchange it for the passport when it’s ready. I know, it’s very confusing! Honestly, my two graduate degrees are not enough to understand Ukrainian bureaucratic system :)
Lo and behold, we applied for the passport on Thursday evening, got this special paper and headed to another office on Monday the 21st since it was closed Friday – Sunday. This office was in a very poor part of the town, called Perecip. There were a lot of babushkas waiting in line, but it didn’t take very long, and we went in. The lady in charge seemed very nice, she even shared with me that her relatives adopted a 4-year old girl from Moscow, so I was cautiously optimistic. She sent us to the local Police Department (don’t ask me why – it’s beyond me!) to get another stamp to prepare for our stamp :) Off we went, found the Police Department, found a specific man in charge, showed him our paperwork, and received a stamp! Absolutely for free!!! Then back to the first office, then to another office, and finally at the end of the day the lady from the first office told us that we should be able to get our stamped paper on Wednesday. Why Wednesday, when it’s only Monday evening? Apparently she needed to go to another higher office on Wednesday morning to get the stamp because it was closed on Tuesday. Since I didn’t really expect the passport to be ready before Wednesday, I reluctantly agreed.
On Wednesday we were told to come “posle obeda” - after lunch. This is a very broad definition. Usually the lunch hour is from 1 to 2 p.m. After lunch could mean 2:10, or 2:30, or 3:00. At 2:00 sharp I called this woman and asked if I can come to pick it up. Do you want to guess what the answer was? Yes, you guessed right. The paper was not ready because we needed to supply more paperwork! Why didn’t you tell me about this additional paperwork on Monday, I would’ve done it on Tuesday? Her answer: I forgot! At this time the call from the passport office comes through, and I’m informed that Raisa’s passport is ready, and I can pick it up anytime as long as I have this special paper!!! Can you believe that? I finally have a passport but can’t pick it up???
At this point my friend Lena has had enough. She went to that office with the look on her face leaving no doubt – she won’t have “No” for the answer. To make the long story short, she’s got the stamped paper. I had to use my emergency fund, but it was worth it :)
So with the priceless paper in hand, Raisa and I headed to the passport office. By this time I was a nervous wreck, and I was not sure I’ll get the passport – who knows, maybe the stamp was not right or something else? But on the way to the passport office I ran into my guardian angel – Tami! I guess it was a good omen because 5 minutes later we were able to exchange the paper for the passport! Thank you, Tami!
I forgot to mention before that the Passport Office is a part of the Police Department, and all workers are police officers! I was very intimidated by the head of the Passport Office in the major uniform when we applied for the passport. She looked very scary :) This time when we came to get the passport, she actually smiled, and I noticed that she’s not as old and scary as I originally thought. But when Raisa on impulse gave her a hug and a kiss, the genuine smile on her face transformed her to a very good-looking woman. As many other people before, she was very surprised when I signed for the passport in English and showed her my American passport. She assumed I was a translator!
Now it’s 5:30 on Wednesday, and there is still time to get train tickets and take a night train to Kiev. Of course there are no tickets, but a call to a special ticket-agent lady with the promise of some extra gratitude worked wonders, and we had our tickets in hand. Then off to the apartment to pack, to make several calls to our friends to say “good bye”, and to finish some other tasks. And finally it was time for Rachel Alice to say “good bye” to the city where she was born and raised for the first 10 years of her life, and to her guardian Lena with whom she lived for the last several months. It was a very emotional time, but finally the train departed and we were on our way to Kiev.
The train ride was okay, a little bit worse than last time in December, but still manageable. Raya and I had the whole compartment to ourselves, so we had some privacy. She had fun riding the train, and slept soundly. I on the other hand didn’t sleep well because it was too hot in the cabin. The train arrived to Kiev at 8:30, and our great facilitator Sergey took us to the Medical Center for Raisa’s medical exam.
When I saw all these people waiting in lines everywhere at the Medical Center, I was so thankful that at home we don’t have to ask who’s the last in line when going to the doctor’s office. Luckily we didn’t have to wait in lines because all adoption cases are given a priority. But we needed to go to several rooms, and it took a lot of time. The first snag hit us in the very first room. I forgot Raisa’s pictures in Odessa! It was entirely my fault, but it was very easy to fix – just go and take another set of pictures. The next one was much worse. Raya’s medical form didn’t have the results of her blood work. She could get the blood work done at the Medical Center, but the results were ready only after 3:00 p.m. It didn’t work for us since we needed to drop off our paperwork at the Embassy before 12:00 on Thursday in order to receive the visa on Friday. Of course, I’m a nervous wreck again :) But Sergey wisely advises me to call the Embassy and ask if they can accept everything but the medical today. I call the Embassy and find out that it’s indeed possible to drop off the paperwork today and bring the medical tomorrow. Okay, it sounds good. We went to the photo place to take Raya’s pictures, then to the Embassy where a very nice young woman accepted all our paperwork (can you see how I like American Embassy?) and told us to come back on Friday at 2 p.m for the interview with the Consul. Note for pre-adoptive parents: it’s very convenient to fill out all Embassy forms ahead of time. I downloaded them from their website, and brought them with me. It worked out great because after the train ride and the Medical Center experience I was in no shape to fill out any paperwork :)
After Embassy we went back to the Medical Center to have the blood work done. The nurse immediately asked for Raisa’s passport. Well, I don’t have her passport anymore because I left it at the Embassy to get the visa! But the nurse is adamant – no passport, no blood work. At this point I break down and start crying. I’ve had enough! Fortunately, it works and the nurse takes the blood work (I didn’t do it on purpose, honestly!) But since we came back after 12, the result will be ready not at 3 today, but at 3 tomorrow! I feel like my blood pressure is rising again – we have a 2 p.m. interview with the Consul tomorrow! But Sergey found a solution once more – we paid a legal expediting fee to have the results by tomorrow morning. Then back to the doctor’s office, then back to another room for a couple of vaccinations (another legal $50), and finally we were told to come back for the final results next morning.
On Friday we arrived to the Medical Center bright and early to pick up the results. In typical Ukrainian fashion it took almost 2 hours, but after $85 (cost of the exam) and my nervous breakdown (related to the lack of Raisa’s passport again :) we finally had our results. After that the visa interview was a piece of cake. The Consul was extremely nice, he even talked to Raya in Russian, and 20 minutes later we were on our way with the Visa in hand!!!
For our last dinner in Ukraine we met my blogging friends Kathy and Matt at a restaurant on Kreschatik called “Domashnia kuhna” – it means homemade food in Russian. Just before we left for the restaurant, we had an interesting experience at our apartment. When I was trying to open the door, the doorknob came out, and the door wouldn’t open! It took us 15 minutes to finally open it, and by that time I thought we are going to be prisoners of that apartment forever :) Then we rode the subway – the first time for Raya - and finally saw Kathy and Matt. It was so great to visit with them and exchange our war stories. They only started their journey in Ukraine, so please keep them in your thoughts and prayers, as they are leaving for the region on Monday.
This morning we woke up at 5:00 a.m., and our facilitator took us to Borispol airport for our 8:20 a.m. flight to Frankfurt. Note to pre-adoptive parents: make sure you have your court decree with you! I was asked for it twice: at the check-in and at the customs. I knew about this requirement from other people blogs, so I was prepared. The check-in lady also asked for the Power of Attorney from Oleg in order for Raisa to leave the country. I explained that her father is in the States, and of course he wants her to leave Ukraine and go to her country. She was very skeptical, but the court decree was good enough and she let us go.
The flight was another “first” for Raisa. She was very afraid at the beginning, but after the plane took off, she had a lot of fun watching the clouds and eating her first ever airline food. We had only hour and a half between the flights, and with my luck, our flight was 30 minutes late! By the time it stopped taxiing, it was only 40 minutes before our flight to JFK! Can you imagine how high my blood pressure was? Luckily, the departing gate was at the same terminal, and after going through security we made it to the gate with 30 minutes until departure. The flight was already boarding, but we were assured we still have time while the Delta agents asked me to show Raisa’s special Embassy envelope. After another 10 minutes we finally boarded the plane.
And finally after another 8.5 hours flight, our plane touched the ground at JFK. The passport control took about 5 minutes, then another 2 minutes at a special immigration room, and voila – we have a new American Citizen! Our plane to Rochester is boarding soon, and our adoption journey is finally coming to the end. Stay tuned! I’ll try to post soon!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
We've got the PASSPORT!!!
It was not an easy day, but just an hour ago we received Raisa's passport! I'll fill you in later - we couldn't leave Odessa without another portion of Ukrainian bureaucracy :) But the most important thing is that we are on our way to Kiev!!! We are taking a night train, arriving to Kiev at 8:00 a.m. Thursday. Hopefully we'll get the visa by Friday and fly home on Saturday.
Here are some pictures from our last days in Odessa:
Here are some pictures from our last days in Odessa:
Sunday, January 20, 2008
The weekend
We had a great weekend with Raisa. On Saturday we went to the "Privoz" market for a little retail therapy :) Privoz used to be a food only market, but now it's a huge complex with lots of stores and individual sellers where one can buy everything: you name it, they've got it. When I visited Privoz in December, I totally forgot about pick-pocketers and lost some small amount of grivna from my pockets :) This time I was very vigilant and made sure all my grivna stays where it belongs :) In addition to the clothes sellers we visited the meat, cheese, fish markets, etc. The food sellers always let you try everything they sell. When I was growing up, we would try everything - delicious cheese, smoked meat, farmers cheese, etc. We didn't need lunch afterwards :) Though this time I thought I'd better pass on trying unknown food!
After dinner I called my friend Tami, and we went to see the downtown area at night. It's absolutely beautiful! The New Year's and Christmas lights are still on, and there are lots of people on the streets enjoying the sights. Though I have to say that the alleys in the courtyard of Tami's apartment are absolutely dark and scary, but we were brave enough to go through both alleys with no problems :)
Today we went to the Opera Theater! One of my friends got us a couple of tickets for the children's musical "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs". It was a great performance, and both Raya and I enjoyed it. It was obviously geared towards children, and the actors tried to make it as interactive as possible. Every time they asked the audience a question, Raisa along with other kids would enthusiastically yell "Da" or "Net". It was very cute. The theater was closed for several years for reconstruction, and just reopened last summer. It was gorgeous, when I visited it many years ago, but now it's breathtaking.
After performance we went out to dinner with my classmates. It was a ladies only night, and we enjoyed our evening at one of the restaurants in the "Afina" mall in downtown. Of course, Raisa was the center of attention, and she loved every minute of it!
I was able to borrow a USB cable at one of the photo stores (at no charge!), so I finally uploaded some pictures. This album doesn't have the latest pictures of the Opera Theater, but tomorrow after chasing the paperwork I'll try to borrow the cable again and upload the latest pictures.
After dinner I called my friend Tami, and we went to see the downtown area at night. It's absolutely beautiful! The New Year's and Christmas lights are still on, and there are lots of people on the streets enjoying the sights. Though I have to say that the alleys in the courtyard of Tami's apartment are absolutely dark and scary, but we were brave enough to go through both alleys with no problems :)
Today we went to the Opera Theater! One of my friends got us a couple of tickets for the children's musical "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs". It was a great performance, and both Raya and I enjoyed it. It was obviously geared towards children, and the actors tried to make it as interactive as possible. Every time they asked the audience a question, Raisa along with other kids would enthusiastically yell "Da" or "Net". It was very cute. The theater was closed for several years for reconstruction, and just reopened last summer. It was gorgeous, when I visited it many years ago, but now it's breathtaking.
After performance we went out to dinner with my classmates. It was a ladies only night, and we enjoyed our evening at one of the restaurants in the "Afina" mall in downtown. Of course, Raisa was the center of attention, and she loved every minute of it!
I was able to borrow a USB cable at one of the photo stores (at no charge!), so I finally uploaded some pictures. This album doesn't have the latest pictures of the Opera Theater, but tomorrow after chasing the paperwork I'll try to borrow the cable again and upload the latest pictures.
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