I've got this great idea about a Mommy Bear from Shelley, another fellow adoptive parent. Victoria and I went to the Build-a-Bear store and created a Mommy Bear for her to hold on to while I'm in Ukraine! This Mommy Bear can even speak with Mommy's pre-recorded voice :) It was a big hit, so I hope it will make it easier for Victoria to be without me.
Luckily our son doesn't need a Mommy Bear anymore :) Though Oleg and I managed to spend some quality time with him this week, which is not an easy task - he's either at school or at work, or out :)
We are more or less ready to go, just 3 more days... It's a very emotional time for us. Not only we are about to become Raisa's parents, but also we are going back to our homeland for the first time in 11 years. We left Odessa on the cold November day in 1996 with just the clothes on our backs and knowing how to say "Hi", Bye" and "How are you" in English. We found our American dream, and we'll do everything possible to help our new daughter to find hers.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Countdown - 10 days
10 days to go. Are we ready? Not really :) I sort of gave up on the lists - I won't be able to finish them all. Instead, I'm concentrating on spending time with Victoria and taking it one day at a time. This weekend we went to the mall, and had a little photosession:
I was also thinking about our process in Ukraine. Here it is in a nutshell:
On Sunday, November 18th, we fly to NY by JetBlue, and then to Kiev by Aerosvit (Ukrainian Airlines). We arrive to Kiev on Monday, November 19th and have our appointment at SDA (State Department of Adoption) on Tuesday, November 20th. Then we take a train to Odessa that same evening.
Once we get to Odessa, we meet with the inspector of the region (something like a town in the States), and write an application to adopt Raisa. If inspector is an agreement that we can proceed with adoption, he/she writes an opinion on whether the adoption meets the best interests of the child. This opinion letter along with many other documents is sent back to Kiev for SDA approval. SDA takes 5 business days to review these documents and then hopefully gives us the consent to adopt. The consent is sent back to Odessa and we can schedule a court date (hopefully within the next week or so).
If the court is successfull, we have to wait mandatory 10 calendar days (sometimes more if the 10th day falls on the weekend) to get the court decree. During these 10 days, anyone can appeal the court decision (hopefully not!)
Once we have a court decree, we can apply for a new birth certificate where we listed as the parents, and with the new birth certificate we can apply for the passport. Getting passport can take up to 10 days or more, but very often it takes 2-3 days, depending on the region and on the expediting fees.
With the passport in hand we go back to Kiev for the medical exam and to apply for a visa. This process takes about 3 business days, and after that we can go home! So it's hard to predict when we'll come home, but I really hope it will be before the holidays.
I also wanted to say a huge thank you to my friend and co-worker for your generous gift toward our adoption expenses - I don't have words to describe my appreciation for your kindness. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
I was also thinking about our process in Ukraine. Here it is in a nutshell:
On Sunday, November 18th, we fly to NY by JetBlue, and then to Kiev by Aerosvit (Ukrainian Airlines). We arrive to Kiev on Monday, November 19th and have our appointment at SDA (State Department of Adoption) on Tuesday, November 20th. Then we take a train to Odessa that same evening.
Once we get to Odessa, we meet with the inspector of the region (something like a town in the States), and write an application to adopt Raisa. If inspector is an agreement that we can proceed with adoption, he/she writes an opinion on whether the adoption meets the best interests of the child. This opinion letter along with many other documents is sent back to Kiev for SDA approval. SDA takes 5 business days to review these documents and then hopefully gives us the consent to adopt. The consent is sent back to Odessa and we can schedule a court date (hopefully within the next week or so).
If the court is successfull, we have to wait mandatory 10 calendar days (sometimes more if the 10th day falls on the weekend) to get the court decree. During these 10 days, anyone can appeal the court decision (hopefully not!)
Once we have a court decree, we can apply for a new birth certificate where we listed as the parents, and with the new birth certificate we can apply for the passport. Getting passport can take up to 10 days or more, but very often it takes 2-3 days, depending on the region and on the expediting fees.
With the passport in hand we go back to Kiev for the medical exam and to apply for a visa. This process takes about 3 business days, and after that we can go home! So it's hard to predict when we'll come home, but I really hope it will be before the holidays.
I also wanted to say a huge thank you to my friend and co-worker for your generous gift toward our adoption expenses - I don't have words to describe my appreciation for your kindness. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Friday, November 2, 2007
16 days
I'm overwhelmed. Why the "to-do" lists are getting bigger and bigger despite the checking off items daily??? I'm so glad to be able to check with my online friends to make sure I haven't missed anything! Thank you, Tami, for reminding me about the snowplow service (actually you were talking about winterizing, and it triggered my snowplow item :)
So where am I with the lists?
- Call the bank to order the new money. Check.
- Call the credit card company to make sure the card will work in Ukraine. Check.
- Buy money belts and international adapters. Check.
- Sign the Power of Attorney document/Medial Release form. Check.
- Talk to the school district about Raisa's placement. Check.
- Buy furniture for Raisa's bedroom. Check.
- Let Victoria's teachers know we'll be out of country. Check.
- Print out the embassy forms and other paperwork to take with us. Check.
- Write a list of emergency phone numbers and all Victoria's activities for my Mom. Check.
What else is on the list? The big items still need to be checked off are:
- Order snowplowing service
- Schedule Internet Bill Payments until the end of December
- Choose and print out pictures for the photoalbum
Plus I have a thousand smaller items to check off :)
So as you can see, I'm stressed out. But I put off all lists to take Victoria trick-or-treating. I'm biased of course, but I think she was the most adorable ice princess ever :)
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
The Order of Toasts and 19 days to go
After I wrote about the customs and superstitions last week, my friend Kelly asked me to write about the order of toasts for gatherings. The following is Odessa's version, so it can be totally different in other parts of Ukraine :)
- Rule #1 - don't drink without toasting! You can be considered an alcoholic!
- The first toast is always for the occasion. If it's a birthday party - drink for the person whose birthday is celebrated.
- The second toast at a birthday party is for the parents of the person whose birthday is celebrated (if they are still alive)
- The third toast varies. Most of the time it's for the women present at the party. You can say in Russian "Za prisutstvuyuschih zdes dam"
- Then it's a good idea to toast relatives - you can separately drink for siblings of the person giving the party, his kids, grandparents, etc. - depends on the situation
- After all relatives are taken care of, people usually toast for friendship
- At some point of time, usually at the end of the party, the hosts will toast all guests. Sometimes it means the party is over, but not necessarily.
- If you are asked to give a toast, make sure you toast the health of the hosts.
If you don't want to drink, sometimes the hosts can be offended. There are a couple of good excuses not to drink: being a designated driver, or you can say that you are taking medications that can't be mixed with alcohol.
On the adoption front we have 19 days to go and I'm totally terrified. Hopefully I'll be able to survive these remaining days :)
- Rule #1 - don't drink without toasting! You can be considered an alcoholic!
- The first toast is always for the occasion. If it's a birthday party - drink for the person whose birthday is celebrated.
- The second toast at a birthday party is for the parents of the person whose birthday is celebrated (if they are still alive)
- The third toast varies. Most of the time it's for the women present at the party. You can say in Russian "Za prisutstvuyuschih zdes dam"
- Then it's a good idea to toast relatives - you can separately drink for siblings of the person giving the party, his kids, grandparents, etc. - depends on the situation
- After all relatives are taken care of, people usually toast for friendship
- At some point of time, usually at the end of the party, the hosts will toast all guests. Sometimes it means the party is over, but not necessarily.
- If you are asked to give a toast, make sure you toast the health of the hosts.
If you don't want to drink, sometimes the hosts can be offended. There are a couple of good excuses not to drink: being a designated driver, or you can say that you are taking medications that can't be mixed with alcohol.
On the adoption front we have 19 days to go and I'm totally terrified. Hopefully I'll be able to survive these remaining days :)
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Russian Customs and Superstitions
My friend Melissa asked me about Ukrainian customs, and I decided to brush up my memory on some of the customs and superstitions (couldn't remember them all though). After living in the States for 11 years, we no longer believe in many of them, though some still rule on our household :)
Customs
- Only an odd number of flowers can be given as a gift. The even numbers are usually brought to the funerals. I still enjoy getting 3-5-7 roses, but the dozen doesn't shock me anymore.
- Men usually shake hands, but women never do.
- When you are invited to someone else's house, you should bring a gift. Usually it's a dessert, a bottle of wine (or vodka :), flowers, etc.
- Don't drink without a toast! You must propose a toast! The glass can't be put back on the table between the time a toast proposed and the time you drink.
- The drinks are usually served at the time of dinner, so you need to be able to eat and drink at the same time.
- Sit quietly for several seconds before leaving on a long trip. Usually we load the luggage in the car, return to the house, and do it :)
- It's believed that to avoid colds in the winter, you have to keep your body warm at all times. Poor kids are usually dressed in so many layers, they end up sweating and catch a cold anyway. So having compared the way I dressed Alex in Ukraine and Victoria here, I can say that American way is much better :) But keep in mind that dressing your child lightly will be considered neglect in Ukraine, so make sure to follow the rule over there!
Superstitions:
- Do not whistle indoors - you won't have any money! Victoria is not allowed to whistle in our house :)
- If you step on your somebody elses's toes by accident, you have to let the other person step on your shoe, or you will have a conflict.
- If you forgot something after your left the house, you can't go back - it's a bad luck.
- Though some people say it's OK as long as you look in the mirror when you return to the house to retrieve your item.
- Don't show newborn baby to other people until the baby is 1 month old. The only exception is immediate family - parents, siblings, etc. We broke this rule and went to our friends house when Victoria was 7 days old. It was okay!
- Don't buy anything for the baby while pregnant. Baby shower is a foreign concept in
Ukraine. I totally broke this rule while pregnant with Victoria :)
- Don't celebrate a birthday early.
- Don't demonstrate somebody else's wound or surgery on yourself, it's a bad luck.
- When you see somebody on the street with a full water bucket, it's a good luck. Empty buckets - bad luck. I haven't seen anybody in America with a bucket yet, so I guess this rule doesn't count.
- If you are not married - don't sit at the corner of the table, otherwise you won't marry for another 7 years.
- Black cat is a sign of bad luck. If you see a black cat on the street, try to take another route :)
- Knock on wood and spit three times over your left shoulder for good luck. If someone praises you, or your kids, make sure to knock on the wood 3 times, and pretend to spit three times over your left shoulder. This is done so that you are not jinxed by the comment. When you see someone's baby, don't ever say "what a beautiful baby" - parents will be afraid you'll jinx it. Instead say something like "what a bad baby", then proceed to knock and spit, so the parents will see you actually were taken with the baby, but you are afraid that your positive comment will jinx it. I'm serious! Don't laugh!
- Do not shake hands or kiss over the threshold of a door.
- Don't look into the broken mirror.
- Don't ever put your keys on the table.
- If you spilled salt, you'll have a conflict with someone.
- If your nose itches, it means you'll be drinking soon :)
- If you by mistake put your clothes on inside out, it means somebody will beat you up :) People should point this out, wait for you to fix the clothes and then pretend to beat you, so that nobody else can really beat you after that :)
Customs
- Only an odd number of flowers can be given as a gift. The even numbers are usually brought to the funerals. I still enjoy getting 3-5-7 roses, but the dozen doesn't shock me anymore.
- Men usually shake hands, but women never do.
- When you are invited to someone else's house, you should bring a gift. Usually it's a dessert, a bottle of wine (or vodka :), flowers, etc.
- Don't drink without a toast! You must propose a toast! The glass can't be put back on the table between the time a toast proposed and the time you drink.
- The drinks are usually served at the time of dinner, so you need to be able to eat and drink at the same time.
- Sit quietly for several seconds before leaving on a long trip. Usually we load the luggage in the car, return to the house, and do it :)
- It's believed that to avoid colds in the winter, you have to keep your body warm at all times. Poor kids are usually dressed in so many layers, they end up sweating and catch a cold anyway. So having compared the way I dressed Alex in Ukraine and Victoria here, I can say that American way is much better :) But keep in mind that dressing your child lightly will be considered neglect in Ukraine, so make sure to follow the rule over there!
Superstitions:
- Do not whistle indoors - you won't have any money! Victoria is not allowed to whistle in our house :)
- If you step on your somebody elses's toes by accident, you have to let the other person step on your shoe, or you will have a conflict.
- If you forgot something after your left the house, you can't go back - it's a bad luck.
- Though some people say it's OK as long as you look in the mirror when you return to the house to retrieve your item.
- Don't show newborn baby to other people until the baby is 1 month old. The only exception is immediate family - parents, siblings, etc. We broke this rule and went to our friends house when Victoria was 7 days old. It was okay!
- Don't buy anything for the baby while pregnant. Baby shower is a foreign concept in
Ukraine. I totally broke this rule while pregnant with Victoria :)
- Don't celebrate a birthday early.
- Don't demonstrate somebody else's wound or surgery on yourself, it's a bad luck.
- When you see somebody on the street with a full water bucket, it's a good luck. Empty buckets - bad luck. I haven't seen anybody in America with a bucket yet, so I guess this rule doesn't count.
- If you are not married - don't sit at the corner of the table, otherwise you won't marry for another 7 years.
- Black cat is a sign of bad luck. If you see a black cat on the street, try to take another route :)
- Knock on wood and spit three times over your left shoulder for good luck. If someone praises you, or your kids, make sure to knock on the wood 3 times, and pretend to spit three times over your left shoulder. This is done so that you are not jinxed by the comment. When you see someone's baby, don't ever say "what a beautiful baby" - parents will be afraid you'll jinx it. Instead say something like "what a bad baby", then proceed to knock and spit, so the parents will see you actually were taken with the baby, but you are afraid that your positive comment will jinx it. I'm serious! Don't laugh!
- Do not shake hands or kiss over the threshold of a door.
- Don't look into the broken mirror.
- Don't ever put your keys on the table.
- If you spilled salt, you'll have a conflict with someone.
- If your nose itches, it means you'll be drinking soon :)
- If you by mistake put your clothes on inside out, it means somebody will beat you up :) People should point this out, wait for you to fix the clothes and then pretend to beat you, so that nobody else can really beat you after that :)
Thursday, October 18, 2007
One month to go
It's October 18th, and we are leaving in one month on November 18th. And you know what? I'm getting really nervous. What if something goes wrong? What if we won't be able to have the court in a reasonable amount of time? What if somebody appeals the court decision? What if we won't be able to get her passport on time? What if we get mugged? I really hope it's just my imagination, and everything will be all right!
We are almost decided on what we should pack, thanks to everyone for the great advice! We'll be taking 2 medium-sized wheeled suitcases, and 1 medium-sized wheeled duffel bag as a checked luggage. For the carry-on we'll take a laptop bag, a small duffel bag and my purse (I can't live without one!). I'm not very clear on Aerosvit restrictions for the carry-on. Here is what I found on their website:
- Carry-on luggage for economy and business-class passengers that travel on flights lasting up to four hours must be 5kg or less and the maximum dimensions must be 55x40x20cm or smaller.
- Carry-on luggage for business class passengers that travel on flights lasting over four hours may be up to 10kg. However, only one such item is allowed.
It doesn't say anything about the economy class passengers traveling on flights over four hours, I hope it's a typo, and we'll be allowed to take 10kg (about 22lbs) instead of just 5 kg (about 11lbs)
I also called the school district and spoke with the registrar about registering Raya (that's Raisa's nick name) for school. She said the process is very easy, I just need to bring her birth certificate and immunization record, and that's it! She'll be assigned an ESL teacher to help her learn English. We've been through this before with Alex, and he picked up language really fast. He started school in December, had ESL through the rest of the school year, and next September he didn't need ESL anymore! It was not as fast for Oleg and me, it took us much longer to learn English :) But it's easy for the kids - the younger they are, the easier they can learn a new language. Alex was 8 when we came to the States, and Raya will be 10, so I hope she'll start speaking soon.
Friday, October 12, 2007
My little baby is 19 today!
Where did the time go?
Going home from the hospital:
6 months old:
6 years old:
Ballroom dance competition:
Playing Beethoven:
NY State soccer champions:
Prom:
Senior picture:
High School Graduation:
Dancing with Mom:
Going home from the hospital:
6 months old:
6 years old:
Ballroom dance competition:
Playing Beethoven:
NY State soccer champions:
Prom:
Senior picture:
High School Graduation:
Dancing with Mom:
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Sending parcels to Ukraine
We have a lot of friends in Ukraine, and every now and then we try to send them a little something. Several years ago I used USPS a couple of times, and the parcels were lost. Then I found a great Ukrainian-American company called "Meest", which has several services such as sending parcels, money, courier delivery, etc. They are based in Toronto, but have offices in many American cities, Europe, etc. We have a local Ukrainian store, which works with Meest, so it's very easy to send a parcel from there. We've done it many times, and we are very happy with the service. It takes about 6 weeks for the parcel to get to Ukraine, but it's delivered directly into the hands of recipients! The cost is not bad either - 99 cents per pound plus $15 per parcel. Recently I logged on to their website www.meest.net, and found out that they now deliver food packages! You just pick a package from the catalog, pay for it, and it's delivered! A lot of people I know (especially senior citizens) live below the poverty line, so these packages will be great gifts for them.
On the adoption front we are in the middle of buying different travel essentials such as luggage (our suitcases are way too large for Ukraine), money belts, adapters, travel pillows, high-heeled boots (that's essential for me :), etc. My adoption expenses are going up every day :)
On the adoption front we are in the middle of buying different travel essentials such as luggage (our suitcases are way too large for Ukraine), money belts, adapters, travel pillows, high-heeled boots (that's essential for me :), etc. My adoption expenses are going up every day :)
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